Mini Me
by OneWanderingMind
Summary: What will Lauren and Bo come home to after a night out with Kenzi left to babysit? This former two shot will now be multiple one shots of the antics of Bo and Lauren's little girl. Rated T for some language.
1. I Sucked Them

**Doccubaby. What's the next best thing? Doccutoddler. Something different from the drama and angst. This will be a two shot of the dress-up adventures of Bo and Lauren's little girl. Yes, I know the crack shack is far from childproof, but I do so love the clubhouse.**

**I hope you enjoy the Doccufamily!**

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Kenzi tiptoed into the bedroom to check on her charge. She promised Bo there would be no mishaps _this_ time. When her eyes fell on an empty bed, she instantly accepted defeat. _Shit_. Failed. Again. "Charlie, you're supposed to be in bed!" She stomped into the main room and took a quick gander before yelling up the stairs as she climbed, "Your moms are going to kill me. Help a sista out!"

Maneuvering into Bo and Lauren's bedroom, the woman continued, "I told you no upstairs. Mommy leaves her weapons lying around for god knows what reason." Seeing the girl in question standing on the bed, Kenzi propped her hands on her hips and demanded, "What the hel-eck are you doing?" The shock soon gave way to uncontrollable laughter.

The golden haired four year old towered over four stuffed animals she had arranged on the bed. With her arms outstretched as if she were flying, she inhaled deeply and loudly for several seconds at a time. She squinted at each animal in turn. Dropping her voice as many octaves as possible, she boomed, "I must take your breath to save Mommy." Kenzi inched closer for a better look, but the girl warned, "No, no, Auntie Kenzi. Stay back. I don't want to suck you."

Keeping her mouth closed, Kenzi simply inspected the child from the bottom up. This girl was a sight to see. A pair of Bo's high topped boots swallowed Charlie's little legs. Although zipped up to her thigh, a few inches of the leather drooped down her legs. A black lacy bra hung from her shoulders across her chest. Her brown irises were dwarfed by an inch of bright blue eye shadow caked around her eyes. The woman feared she might pull an ab muscle from convulsing with amusement.

"Ebony!" The girl addressed a teddy bear, "Give me your breath!" Charlie had met the Morrigan once completely by accident. In her honor, the blonde named a large grey and white bear after her. Although consistently corrected on the pronunciation, the toddler adamantly called the bear 'Ebony'.

After a couple more minutes of intense air gulping and shouts at her stuffed friends, she clapped her hands and swatted the animals off the bed. Confused, Kenzi asked, "Did you just succubus kill them?"

Charlie plopped down on her stomach and scooted carefully off the edge of the bed. With a clomp, her feet in Bo's boots hit the floor and she waddled over to Kenzi, "No, silly. They're just tired."

With the blonde close enough to examine, Kenzi snickered at the makeup splotched around her eyes. When she glanced down at her hands, she whined, "Charlotte, you got it all over your fingers." She herded the small girl to the sink, turned on the facet and lifted her up, "Holy shish kabob! You're getting heavy."

"Mama says I eat for two."

"I agree with the Doc on that one. It's like I've picked up an actual person."

"I _am_ a person!" Charlie shot back defiantly.

Struggling to support the child's weight, Kenzi disagreed, "Kids aren't people. I'll let you know when you're a people." Charlie violently splashed the water around in response. Kenzi instructed, "Dude, get some soap and chill with the water attack."

The hand washing adventure ended with a blue puddle on the floor around the sink and a very wet Kenzi and Charlie. Kenzi carefully slid a few feet away before setting down the delighted girl. The toddler admonished her, "Auntie Kenz, you made a water mess."

Since arguing was futile, Kenzi nodded, "Yup. I gotta clean up my water mess before I bust my as-wesome little butt."

Charlie giggled at the flub, "That's not a word."

Putting her hands on her hips, the woman asked, "Where did you get the eye shadow from?"

The girl motioned to the foot locker and replied, "Big box."

"Note to self," Kenzi mumbled aloud. "Lock the foot locker."

Much to her dismay, Kenzi realized her toes were cold and submerged in water, which meant her boots were soaked. Shrieking, she desperately grappled with the material to yank them off without slipping and falling on her ass. Charlie clapped her hands in merriment as the woman groaned and hopped around, "Not the shoes! Not my beautiful new boots!" Displeased with Charlie's reaction, Kenzi sputtered, "This is not funny! These were very expensive."

Charlie cocked her head to one side and raised an eyebrow, "Mommy says you steal."

With a deer in the headlights look, Kenzi replied, "That doesn't mean they weren't expensive."

Scolding the woman, the blonde wagged a finger, "Mama says it's wrong to steal."

"Well, it's also a crime to destroy people's property, so there!" Kenzi huffed childishly. Charlie squeezed her eyes shut and stuck out her tongue. The woman's mouth dropped open, "That did _not_ just happen."

"Kenzi!" Bo shouted up the stairs.

"Babe, Charlotte could be asleep," Lauren whispered.

"Well, she isn't in her room," the other woman lowered her voice.

Reaching the top of the stairs, Bo was immediately greeted by a very awake Charlie. "Mommy, Mommy," she chirped and gestured proudly at her face, "I look like you! My eyes are blue now!" Before Bo could get a good look, the girl hobbled as quickly as she could and leaped into her mother's arms. Wrapping her tiny arms around the brunette's neck, she propped her head on her shoulder and smiled at Lauren, who was standing a step behind Bo, "Hi, Mama."

The doctor snorted at her daughter's raccoon eyes. "Why are you all blue, Sweetheart?"

She reached out to try and brush off some of the makeup, but Charlie pulled away, shook her head and explained, "No, no. I took their breath to save Mommy. So my eyes are blue."

As Charlie leaned back to stare at Bo's face, the brunette giggled out of confusion and amusement, "Took breath from what, Blue Baby?"

Instead of answering, Charlie smacked a hand on either side of Bo's face and exhaled directly into her mother's mouth.

Bo snapped her mouth shut and groaned in disgust, "Oh, Charlie, you did not brush your teeth." She reeled from the stench. "What did Kenzi feed you?"

Kenzi answered, "The little gremlin might have gotten into my Cooler Ranch Doritos."

Rolling her eyes, but grinning at her sweet daughter, Bo replied, "Well, that explains that."

"Yay!" the girl threw up her hands, "I saved you! Like you saved Dyson."

Now it made sense: the "breath", the blue train wreck on her face and the unfortunate gust of Doritos. Lauren stood next to Bo and asked, "Did Kenzi tell you a story?"

Charlie nodded firmly and began clawing the air near Lauren's face. She couldn't quite reach her mother. She begged, "Mama! Give me a kiss, please!"

As Lauren leaned in and pecked the girl on the lips, Kenzi sighed, "Well, I'm glad she found her manners."

Suddenly noticing her own shirt growing damp, Bo asked Charlie in surprise, "Why are you all wet?"

Saying nothing, the girl forcefully pointed at Kenzi.

The accused woman gasped, "Liar! It was so her fault and my boots were a casualty of the Charlie vs Water War of 2018."

Looking down at her little girl's chest, Bo noticed the black bra dangling from her shoulders. She chuckled, "Is that Mommy's?"

A grin that could melt any heart burst across Charlie's face and she confirmed, "I wanted to look like you."

Bo and Lauren exchanged a glance. They couldn't possibly get any happier or be more content. Bo could be more dry, but her heart surely couldn't endure any more love.

Rubbing Charlie's back, Lauren said, "Charlotte, let's clean you up and get you to bed. It's past your bedtime."

The toddler crossed her arms and pressed her lips together and insisted, "No, Mama. I'm not done." The little girl knew who gave in the easiest, so she flashed her best puppy dog face at Bo and whimpered, "I'm not done, Mommy."

_Shit_. Bo was such a pushover and couldn't deny her beautiful blonde girl anything. She looked over at Lauren with a pleading gaze and begged on her child's behalf, "She still wants to play."

Charlie whirled around and explained, "I wanna be _you_ now," she thrust a small finger at Lauren's chest.

Interested in how this would unfold, the blonde woman caved, "Alright, alright. Go be me."

Charlie squealed in delight.

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**I hope you're squealing in delight right now from all the cuteness.**

**Charlotte's Lauren impression coming up next!**


	2. Bub, Bub

**Thank you so much for all of your comments. I'm happy that you enjoy little Charlie as much as I do. **

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Thrilled about her extended playtime, Charlie wiggled out of Bo's arms. As soon as her feet hit the ground, she toppled over unable to keep her balance in the massive boots. Lauren squatted down, "Let's get these off of you."

Charlie nodded in agreement, "It's hard to walk." Thinking she was assisting her mother, the little blonde kicked violently while Lauren pulled. When the second shoe finally popped off, Charlie jumped to her feet and latched onto the doctor's hand. "C'mon, Mama," the girl demanded as she heaved with her four year old strength. Lauren struggled to stand as her daughter dragged her into the bedroom.

Smiling, Bo followed the pair and she spied three bears and a stuffed dog scattered on the floor. "Honey, why are your animals all over the place?"

Charlie glanced over and replied, "I sucked them."

Perplexed, her mother pressed, "But why are they on the floor?"

"They're not dead," Kenzi offered. "I already asked. She didn't go Dark Charlie on them."

Releasing Lauren's hand, Charlie looked at her animals and then at Bo. With her arms bent and palms up, she dramatically shrugged and noted, "They got so tired. They fell over." With two flat hands pressed together, she placed them on one cheek and tilted her head as if she was sleeping. She explained, "Now they're sleeping."

"Ah," Lauren nodded, "Well, we'll need to put them to bed along with you in a few minutes."

Eyes wide with realization, the girl gasped as she clapped a hand over her mouth, "I can't let Ebony sleep on the floor!"

The blonde squeezed her shoulder and assured her, "We won't let her sleep on the floor, Sweetie."

Conflicted, Charlie scrunched up her face trying to decide whether to take care of her stuffed friends or proceed with her dress-up plans. Within seconds, she made up her mind. Tugging off Bo's bra, she prepped for her transformation. She tossed the bra by the nightstand.

Lauren gently scolded her, "What have we told you about putting things back where they came from?" The doctor preferred things tidy and she couldn't abide abandoned clothing.

With confusion in her voice, Charlie said, "But that is where it came from."

Bo, Lauren and Kenzi peeked around the bed. Sure enough, a pair of pants, a studded shirt and leather jacket, all black, lay within four feet of each other. The two mothers locked eyes as Bo answered, "Looks like I left a mess on the floor."

Kenzi chuckled, "Now how did all of your clothes end up on the floor?"

Lauren cleared her throat in hesitation. Charlie simply shook her head in disappointment, "Silly, Mommy."

Bo could practically hear all of the no doubt hilarious comments rattling inside Kenzi's brain. She wisely kept her mouth shut and Charlie strutted over to a rack of hanging clothes. As she reached for something, she remembered her eyes. Roughly, she swatted her face with her hands. Kenzi said, "Dude, stop hitting yourself." Once again, bright blue makeup coated her fingers. Taking the most logical action, she quickly wiped her hands on her green jammie pants.

"Sweetheart..." Lauren almost stopped her.

Watching their daughter dust off her hands with determination, Bo stepped next to her wife, wrapped an arm around her waist and said, "That's what washing machines are for, Babe." The blonde smirked and planted a playful kiss on Bo's lips.

Charlie grabbed the sleeve of a white lab coat. All three women snickered as the girl pulled and grunted. Bo asked, "Do you want some help?"

"No, no, Mommy," the girl insisted and yanked between each word, "I. can. get. it." When the coat finally fell free so did a few other blouses. Staring at the pile at her feet, Charlie muttered, "Oops. I'm sorry, Mama."

Amused rather than irritated, Lauren requested, "Can you put them back?"

Charlie craned her neck up at the bar above her with the hangers and realized it was much too high. She turned to Kenzi and grinned as she answered, "I will if Auntie Kenzi helps me."

Kenzi sighed at the girl's loving tone, "And now you're being adorable."

Bo blew off the clothes situation and said, "Don't worry about them, Charlie. We'll get them later."

"Thank you!" the girl squealed as she shoved one arm into the sleeve of the lab coat. After a few seconds of quiet grumbles and wiggling, she lifted and waved her arms trying to coax the long sleeves to slide down. Although Lauren wanted to help her, she didn't bother to offer knowing what her answer would be. Bo didn't give birth to the girl, but Charlie definitely picked up Bo's independent streak.

Finally poking her hands out of the sleeves, she flipped her blonde locks over her shoulder, straightened the lab coat and asked with a serious tone, "Mama, where is my stethoscope?"

Shocked, Kenzi chirped, "How the hello does she know how to say that word?"

Still standing by her wife, Bo gave Lauren a kiss on the cheek and replied, "She's her mother's daughter." Smiling from ear to ear, the doctor turned her head, rested a hand on the side of Bo's face and kissed her gently. As she pulled back, she teasingly bit Bo's lip. With a hand on either hip, the brunette spun the woman around to face her. She pulled their bodies close and leaned in for another kiss.

A hard tug on her shirt stopped her. Charlie whined, "Mommy, stop it! Pay attention to me." The toddler thrust out her bottom lip and continued to yank.

Looking down at the attention starved blonde drowning in Lauren's coat, Bo apologized, "I'm sorry, Sweetheart. Your Mama is a bit distracting."

"What's dis-tacking?" Charlie stumbled over a word she'd never said before.

"It means your Succumom wants to make out with your Docmom," Kenzi clarified.

Of course, this only confused the child even more. Bo bent down, kissed the girl's forehead and whispered, "It means I'm sorry and I'm watching you now."

"Good," Charlie grabbed both women's hands and motioned for them to sit. When they settled on the floor, the girl asked again, "Where is my stethoscope?"

Lauren reached into the oversized side pocket of the coat and pulled out the object in question. Charlie clapped and snatched the instrument. "Thanks, Mama." She shoved the earpieces in her ears, fumbled with the tubing and finally plopped the diaphragm on Bo's chest. Actually, it was on her mother's right boob.

The brunette giggled and guided the disk over to her left side, "Silly Doctor, my heart is over here."

Lauren shifted the diaphragm more toward the middle and corrected, "Actually, the heart sits in between the lungs, but it leans to the left. Due to the slight tilt, it may feel like it's on the left. It's a common mistake."

Both Charlie and Bo beamed at the doctor. They both loved the woman's intelligence. The toddler rarely understood, but she recognized the confident tone and the scholarly gleam in her eyes. She grinned and said, "Mama's so smart." Lauren poked the girl in the stomach and made her daughter giggle.

The toddler switched to listen to Lauren's heartbeat. The room fell silent for a few seconds as Charlie mimicked the thuds in her ears, "Bub, bub... bub, bub... bub, bub... bub, bub."

Lauren asked, "How does it sound, Doctor Charlotte?"

Donning a professional tone, the girl retracted the instrument and replied, "It sounds good. Pretty heart, Mama." She patted both Bo and Lauren on the chest and declared, "Both go bub, bub." She stepped back a few feet and pointed at her moms and observed, "You so pretty! Prettiest Mommies!"

Kenzi shuffled her feet a few yards away and complained, "Don't you wanna take a listen to Auntie's ticker?"

Charlie invited her over, "Sit next to Mommy." No longer feeling left out, Kenzi joined the group on the floor. The blonde handed her the ear tubes, "Put them on. You do me." Charlie held the disc to her heart as Kenzi listened. An evil smirk flashed across Charlie's face and she shoved the diaphragm on her mouth and boomed, "Hiya!"

Kenzi yelped as she jerked the earpieces away from her ringing ear drums. "Oww! Oww! What the fu- dgesicle!" She cupped her hands over her ears, tipped over and curled into a fetal position as she groaned.

Both Lauren and Bo wanted to scold her, but they were too busy laughing. Charlie threw back her head, clutched her stomach and laughed so hard she sounded like she might hyperventilate. Her little legs almost gave out. The brunette pulled the girl into her lap and half-assed a reproach, "That wasn't very nice." She struggled to stifle her chuckles.

With her back up against Bo's stomach, she tipped her head up and noted amidst her giggles, "But you're laughing, Mommy."

Lauren leaned over and flicked the girl's nose affectionately, "You're just like your Mommy."

Charlie smiled, looked up at Bo and tapped her own lips, "Kiss, please."

The brunette happily complied. Turning to her friend, Bo noticed Kenzi's moans of pain had softened into quiet whimpers and her hands no longer guarded her throbbing ears. Charlie also looked over. Suddenly, she felt bad. Lauren's gentle attentiveness to others bubbled within her. She boosted herself out of her mother's lap and tiptoed over to the injured woman. Carefully, she knelt down, kissed one of Kenzi's ears and whispered, "I'm sorry, Auntie Kenzi. Forgive me?"

Although she wanted to keep pouting, the sincere apology coupled with Charlie's concerned face chased away any imagined animosity. Kenzi rolled onto her back, spread her arms and conceded, "Alright munchkin. When you get older, I'll actually stay mad at you. You totally killed my boots."

Charlie shook her head and lay down next to the woman. She settled her head down on Kenzi's chest and disagreed, "You'll always lurve me."

No matter how cute it was, Lauren wished she would say 'love' correctly, but the image of her daughter snuggled up next to her aunt diminished her desire to correct Charlotte's pronunciation. As Kenzi wrapped an arm around the small girl, Charlie placed a hand on her chest and fiddled with the buttons running up the woman's shirt. For a minute or so, the two cuddled without moving.

"Are you tired, Baby?" Lauren asked.

As a wave of exhaustion swept over her, Charlie mumbled and yawned, "Alber I Stine."

Taking the hint, Lauren crawled over and gently pulled her daughter into her arms. Barely able to keep her eyes open, Charlie muttered near her mother's face, "Petri dishes?"

Lauren lit up, amazed by the little things Charlotte noticed about her. "Tomorrow, Sweetie." The girl's breath was repugnant, but brushing her teeth might rile her up.

"Otay," the girl replied in her sleepy tone which often reverted her speech to that of a two year old. Caught in a drowsy haze, Charlie still remembered the bears and the dog and requested in single words, "Mommy. Ebony. Bears."

As she collected the animals, the brunette assured, "I've got them. They're going to sleep with you."

The couple and the nearly slumbering girl headed to the stairs. Raising her voice just enough to be heard, Charlie said, "Nigh, nigh, Aun Kenz."

Kenzi sat up to watch the group slowly walk down the stairs, "Night, Charlie." The woman smiled at the little family. Surely it couldn't get any better than that.

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**Thank you so much for reading!**

**I have to admit. I've fallen completely in love with this little girl. This is supposed to be a two-shot, but if you guys would prefer, I can instead create a series of one-shots in which Charlie mimics everyone's favorite characters on the show. No plot. No drama. Just Charlie being Charlie.**

**So. More? Or leave this one night with the Doccufamily as is.**

**If you'd like me to continue, let your opinion be heard. Feel free to suggest a character you'd like her to tackle next. PM me or comment, comment, comment!**


	3. Honey Bun Buns

**Welcome back to Charlie's world! After seeing how many people enjoyed the Doccufamily, I've decided to continue. It'll be multiple one shots focusing on Charlie and whatever character she's paired up with!**

**Thank you so much for everyone's input and opinions on which characters to include. It'll pretty much be everyone!**

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"Come to Mama," Kenzi purred at her morning cup of coffee. Her stout sugar and caffeine concoction could wake the dead. It had the kick of an ogre.

"I don't know how your body handles that stuff," Bo laughed as her friend caressed the mug.

"My body is a wonderland."

"Ahhhhhhhh!" Charlie screamed as she charged into the kitchen wielding Kenzi's sword. Both women swung around, each hit with different emotions. A mother's concern washed over Bo as owner protectiveness splattered across Kenzi's senses.

Kenzi blurted first, "That's _mine_! What are you doing with Geraldine?"

"Charlie!" Bo admonished, "No swords and _definitely_ no running with swords."

Unfazed by both comments, Charlie swung her hips and stomped around doing a very odd dance. Thrown off by the girl's energy this early in the morning, Kenzi asked, "Kid. What the hello are you doing?"

The toddler raised the weapon proudly, "Auntie Kenzi fights with Ger-dine!"

"Oh. My. God." Kenzi squealed, "Are you going to be me?!"

With a serious face, Charlie agreed, "I'm Kenzi."

The excited woman backhanded Bo lightly on the shoulder and gasped, "This is going to be so good! Alright, what's next, munchkin?"

"What's next is," Bo snatched the weapon from Charlie's hands, "Geraldine is going back where she came from."

"But Mommy!" her daughter whined and stomped, "I didn't get the bad guy."

Kenzi joined in with the toddler and griped, "Booooo, don't kill her Kenzi mojo."

Marching toward Kenzi's room, Bo responded, "She needs some different Kenzi mojo."

"Boo on you!" Kenzi complained.

Squatting down with her coffee, the woman offered consolation, "There are many kick-a things about moi. Let's find you another one."

Charlie eyed the beverage emitting a delicious smell. Innocently, she asked, "Kenzi drinks coffee. Can I have a sip?"

"Umm," Kenzi knew Lauren's stance on caffeine and sugar, but she figured one sip was harmless. She carefully handed the girl her mug and asked, "Do you need a straw or you got this?"

"Straw, please." As soon as Kenzi turned, the mischievous blonde tipped back the cup. She had never tasted anything so good.

"Charlie!" Kenzi yelped, "Shit I said a _sip_, not a gulp!" After snatching the cup back, she realized the girl had downed over half the glass. "Definitely not multiple gulps!"

The little girl tapped the frazzled woman's lips and whispered, "You said a bad word."

"Well, this is a shit-uation if I've ever seen one. Just stay calm and do _not_ tell your Mama."

"Don't tell me what?" Lauren inquired as she entered the kitchen.

"I ate all the milk," Kenzi panicked and of course didn't make any sense.

Raising an eyebrow, the blonde pressed, "You _ate_ all the milk?"

"And cookies! Milk and cookies," she added nonchalantly. "I promised Charlie I'd save some for you. She was adamant. She was all like, 'Save some cookies for Mama, Bitch!'"

"Kenzi, I don't even like those cookies and she didn't say that word."

"You don't know that..."

The sugar and caffeine hit the little girl like a speeding train. "Ahh! Ahh! Ahh!" Charlie yelled as she sprinted out of the room. "I'm Kenzi!"

She pummeled into Bo as she turned the corner, "Whoa, slow down turbo."

Her daughter stopped and stared at her with her mouth hanging open and wide eyes and bellowed, "Coffeeeee!"

Taken aback and completely confused, Bo stood stunned as the girl sprinted around the corner. With a puzzled look on her face, Bo walked into the kitchen, "Did you guys see that?"

"Yeah." Lauren snipped. She knew what was going on. "Kenzi? Did you give Charlotte coffee?"

Squeezing her eyes shut and nodding, the woman confessed, "Maybe a tiny sip."

Bo picked up Kenzi's mug and retorted, "Tiny? Looks like she downed it."

"In my defense, Bo's given her coffee before. Remember that day she finger painted the floor? The entire floor?"

"Bo!" Lauren snapped.

"Kenzi! Way to keep a secret."

"Perhaps coffee is her adderall. She could cure cancer on that stuff after she's done painting the Sistine Chapel." Kenzi shrugged.

Before the blonde could object, Charlie peeled into the room yelling, "Wiiiiggggssss!" A pink wig lay sideways on her head. Her blonde locks still hung free. Turns out this little girl on coffee didn't know which part of the wig was the front. When she spotted the group staring with their mouths agape, she jumped up and down and wiggled her hips. Each time her feet hit the floor, she spouted a word, "I. Like. Coffee. And. Wine."

"Oh to the m g. This is incredible!" Kenzi whipped out her cell phone and started recording.

Happy for the additional attention, Charlie ran toward the phone, pumped her fist and declared, "Let's kick Fae ass!"

"Charlotte Isabo Dennis!" Lauren snapped.

Bo snatched up her daughter and scolded her, "Charlie, you know better than that."

The girl writhed in her mother's arms like a wet noodle and she tapped Bo's nose like a tiny drum. Still filming, Kenzi giggled as the girl kicked in Bo's arms. "It's like she's trippin' or high on something."

"Well, you're really high on my you-know-what list right now," Bo groaned. "Oww!" Charlie whacked her in the face and swatted her on the chest as her arms flailed. Wanting to avoid further injury, the brunette released her daughter.

The girl landed hard on her feet and tipped backward onto her ass. She popped to her feet and hobbled to the couch. After punching the cushions, she ran back into the kitchen to the refrigerator and strained to reach the milk.

Lauren resigned herself to accepting Charlotte's unruly behavior. Reasoning with her was impossible until the caffeine and sugar flushed out of her system. Tying her down might be a bit much, although still an option. The blonde asked, "What do you need milk for, Sweetie?"

Standing on her tip toes and stretching her arms, she sang, "Milk and Honey Bun Buns! Honey Bun Buns!"

"Good call," Kenzi chimed in.

Charlie ran over and mercilessly poked Kenzi in the stomach, "Milk and Honey Bun Buns!"

"Oww, oww!" Kenzi exclaimed trying to block the girl's tiny hands. Finally, she bolted. "This is a little out-of-character Kenzi. I do not sing or poke attack."

With her arms outstretched, Charlie giggled and chased the girl around the table and into the living room. Stepping in her path, Lauren managed to corral the blonde, actually, pink haired girl. "Sweetheart, no running."

She gently grabbed her arms, but the girl jumped in place singing, "Milk and Honey Bun Buns!"

Cowering behind Bo, Kenzi complained, "I'm slightly disappointed in her interpretation of me. I see terrifying, not adorable."

"Well, give a four year old coffee and _this_ is what you get." Bo rolled her eyes, "At least she got the wig and the cereal right."

"Guess I'll count my blessings," Kenzi sighed.

Bo reached down her shirt to retrieve her phone. "Huh," she muttered, "I know I put it here." She glanced over at her wife, who was still trying to tame the beast. "Babe, have you seen my phone?"

Drained of energy, Charlie finally stopped moving and struggled to breathe. Dropping her arms to her sides, she buckled her legs and fell to the floor. She smiled up at Lauren and bobbed her head, "Whoa, Mama! Whoa!"

Relieved, Lauren responded, "No, I haven't seen it, Honey."

With her head still spinning like a top, Charlie suggested, "Couch, Mommy. In the couch."

Sure enough, Bo flipped up a cushion and found her phone. "How on earth did it get here?"

Charlie grinned, "Cuz I stole it."

"Oh yes!" Kenzi celebrated, "That's my girl."

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**I hope you still like! I'm thinking Trick next. He was mentioned a few times. Can't wait to see how that works out. **


	4. Burger

**Thank you very much to everyone commenting and following. It's very encouraging to hear from everyone. I'm glad little Charlie continues to entertain. **

**In this chapter, Charlotte attempts to channel the Trickster amidst a Mommy/Daughter face off.**

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"Mommy, I'm hungry," Charlie whined as Bo dragged her into the Dal.

Knowing her daughter was about to get very cranky, the brunette replied, "I just need to ask Grandpa Trick a really quick question." With a chipper tone and a huge smile, Bo continued, "Then your Mama is going to cook us some yummy food!"

"What food?" Charlie's voice oozed disinterest. Bo lifted her onto the couch near the bar.

"Well, there's going to be peas."

"Yuck," the girl grumbled.

"And carrots."

"_Eww_."

"Angel hair pasta."

"Gross!"

"And chicken."

"Bleh!" Charlie declared as she crossed her arms.

Throwing her hands up in defeat and plopping down beside the blonde, Bo noted, "You literally love _all_ of those things. You asked for carrots for breakfast yesterday."

With an indignant tone and matching look, Charlie demanded, "No. I want a burger." She added sarcastically, "_Please_."

Slightly irritated, Bo scolded, "Attitude check, Missy. You know what happens to little girls who are rude and don't eat their dinner?" Charlie cocked an eyebrow eager to see what her mother would come up with. Of course, Bo had no threat prepared so she threw out the first thing that came to mind, "They get locked in the basement and umm..." She repeatedly snapped her fingers searching for the perfect clincher. "And they have to eat spinach and green beans for the rest of their lives!" _Swing and a miss._

"Wow," Bo heard a voice and slow clap from over her shoulder. "I don't know whether to congratulate you on your stellar parenting technique or call child services," Tamsin commented.

"Just who I wanted to see," Bo said.

"Really? Little ole me?" the Valkyrie snickered in disbelief.

"No, but you're a warm body," Bo stood and asked, "Can you watch Charlie for a second? I need to-"

"Nope," Tamsin snipped as she strutted out the door.

"Seriously?" Bo spoke to the empty space.

"I like Tamsin," Charlie commented.

"You would," her flustered mother replied.

"Hungry, Mommy, _hungry_!" Charlie swung her legs kicking the couch.

"Alright, alright. Let's go downstairs and talk to Grandpa."

"Ooohh," the blonde perked up. "Downstairs is neat."

Bo boosted her daughter onto her hip. Although she initially hoped to avoid toting the blonde to Trick's living room, she didn't really have a choice. Carrying Charlie toward the stairs, she warned, "Don't break anything."

"I don't break things!"

"You're four," Bo chuckled. "You break things. I seem to recall that you and Kenzi played football with a skull downstairs a few weeks ago."

"Well... well," Charlie huffed trying to defend herself. "Kenzi made me!"

"Are you going to blame Kenzi for everything even when you're sixteen?"

The blonde gave a half smile before she remembered her latest hankering, "Burger!" she spouted.

"Anddd we're back to this," her mother muttered.

"Well hello there, little one," Trick greeted his great granddaughter.

Still sulking, Charlie didn't respond as Bo parked her on a couch.

"Just so you know," the brunette explained to Trick, "she's a little h-u-n-g-r-y and very p-i-s-s-y."

"Not fair, Mommy!" Charlie whined.

"Exhibit A," Bo gestured to her daughter's crossed arms and pouting lips.

"Lucky for you," the old man stated, "I know something she always likes." He walked over to Charlie and suggested, "Why don't you show Mommy how I translate books."

"Really?!" the girl started to clap but immediately reverted to her unhappy demeanor. "Okay, I guess. If I get to draw."

Trick took the girl's hand and led her over to his desk. After clearing off his own paper, he fanned out some parchment and handed her some pins. Climbing into the chair, she couldn't suppress a smile. While she made herself comfortable, her grandfather grabbed a few books written in ancient languages focusing on the origins of Fae and dropped them on the corner of the desk.

"Alright, Charlotte, I'm counting on you to figure out what these say. And make sure to use pictures."

No longer able to contain her glee, she leaned down and kissed him on the cheek, "Thank you, Grandpa. I'll figure out the words." With that, she flung open a book to a random page and morphed into a studious scholar.

"Huh. I'm gonna pass along that trick to Lauren."

Trick laughed, "Your daughter has your wife's brains. I find it helps to feed them."

"Well, if she gets half of Lauren's smarts and a fraction of her heart, she'll be good to go."

"Grandpa!"

"Yes?"

"What is this?" Charlie pointed to a picture of a shimmering golden bird with huge wings.

"That's an Alicanto. They attack people and steal their valuables."

"Why?"

"They eat gold and silver. They tend to hypnotize their victims to distract them while they take all things shiny."

"Holy crap!" Bo exclaimed. "That sounds like what I'm looking for. Apparently something has been hitting pawnshops and jewelry stores and running out with gold."

"Were grand visions of riches involved?"

"Yeah. They all mentioned visions."

Charlie didn't look up as she scratched the pen on her paper. "Looks like I found the Fae," she noted proudly. "In a minute, I'll tell you what the book says."

Relieved at the disappearance of the toddler's crappy mood, Bo responded, "You did so good. I can't wait to see what you find out, Sweetie."

"I know everything." Charlie said flippantly.

"Well, that sounds like you, Gramps."

"I never say that!"

"Your strut and oh-so-wise comments do."

"I'm old and I'm a king," the girl added, still writing on the paper.

"Huh," Bo said, "Her impression is a little weak. She totally nailed Kenzi."

"In her defense," Trick commented. "She only ever sees me with books or wiping down the bar."

"I'm finished!" Charlie declared.

Both Bo and Trick perused the girl's work. She had scrawled a bunch of rune-like markings on a page. It wasn't quite actual letters but it wasn't just scribble. Interested, Bo asked as she fiddled with the girl's hair, "So, what does it say?"

"It talks about a girl with two mommies." Her finger followed the characters as if she was reading. "She was very happy. Her mommies loved her. One of her mommies had petri dishes. Her other mommy beat up bad guys." Bo grinned and kissed her daughter on the top of the head as Charlie continued, "A big scary monster came. His name was Henry."

"Henry? That doesn't sound scary."

"_Well_," the blonde stressed. "He took the girl. Her mommies had to save her."

"How did they save her?" Trick inquired.

"They gave him burgers," she concluded flatly.

Stunned by her child's passive aggressive wit, Bo could only blurt, "_Really_? Burgers?"

Charlie glanced up and smirked, "Then the girl was happy again."

"Ugh." Bo groaned as she pulled out her cellphone.

"Who are you calling?" Trick asked.

"Lauren. I'm going to ask her to make burgers." Although Lauren could hold her own against the little girl, the brunette had a bad habit of caving to her daughter's whims.

"Whoo hoo!" the little blonde pumped her fist. She whispered in her grandfather's ear, "Mommy listens to you. So I had to be you."

Trick let out a small laugh. "How did you get so smart?"

She tapped the man on the nose, "Mama and you."

* * *

**Even when she's whiny, she amuses me. I couldn't help but add a fitting Tamsin cameo. **


	5. Only a Wolf

**Thank you again for all of your support! Charlie basically just plops on the paper like a little bundle of joy. **

* * *

The doctor held her daughter's hand firmly as they strolled into the police station. "You stay close by young lady. You're on thin ice after your burger tantrum."

Regretting her bad behavior from the day before, Charlie glanced up at her mother and replied apologetically, "I said I'm sorry." The girl shuffled her feet and hung her head. She didn't like being in trouble.

"You need to tell that to your Mommy when she arrives." She shook her head a bit as she thought about the situation. Her daughter was just too smart for her own good. Unfortunately, her wife often assumed the role of playmate with their child rather than disciplinarian.

When the mother/daughter duo rounded the corner and walked into the familiar office, Dyson warmly greeted Charlie, "Here's my favorite little girl."

The blonde's face lit up as she squealed, "Uncle Dyson!" Lauren released her hand and the toddler sprinted and leaped into the man's arms. She squeezed his neck and informed him, "Mama brought some papers."

Her mother stepped forward waving a thick folder, "I finished the autopsy. The results were conclusive."

"It's Fae," the girl spouted proudly before Lauren had a chance to finish her thought.

"Shhh," Dyson pressed a finger to her lips. "Remember we can't talk loudly about that here."

Agreeing, she whispered, "It's a secret."

"That's right," he confirmed and lightly poked her stomach. "Only special humans like you know about Fae."

As Dyson carried Charlie to his desk, she corrected, "And Mama and Aunt Kenzi." She gently tugged his blonde curls with a broad smile. "I like your hair," she randomly chirped. The simplest things fascinated her and Dyson's unkept hair was one of them.

Knowing the inquisitive girl loved computers, the man sat her down in his chair and pulled the keyboard and mouse toward her. Wisely, he removed the USB wireless receiver for the two devices. She could now type and click to her heart's content.

As the girl amused herself, he turned to chat with Lauren about her findings. The blonde began, "It's most certainly Fae. According to my findings, I'm confident that it is a Mesmer kill." She flipped to a set of pictures of the victim's neck and explained, "The cause of death is strangulation and by his own hand." She pointed to the hand imprint left behind on the man's skin. "This outline of a ring on the middle finger matches perfectly with the one he was wearing."

Dyson nodded and wondered aloud, "Vex?"

"Not in town," Tamsin chimed in. She looked over at Charlie and commented, "Thanks _so_ much for dragging her along. It's always a pleasure having her underfoot." Regardless of the words coming out of her mouth, the Valkyrie perked up at the sight of the girl. She found it difficult not to like her. She grabbed the report from Lauren and perused the pages.

"Uncle Dyson! Uncle Dyson!" the toddler called out.

He knelt down beside her and asked, "Yes?"

With a gleam in her eye, she requested, "Do your eyes, please." Smiling sweetly, he beckoned the animal within and the blue drained from his eyes as a bright color consumed his irises. "Yellow!" she declared.

"Oh joy," Tamsin noted, "your kid knows colors."

Rolling her eyes, Lauren opened her mouth to speak but her phone rang. Reading the number, she stepped away to take the call. Charlie craned her neck up at Tamsin and asked, "Can I see papers? I can find the bad guy."

Holding out the green folder, the detective responded flatly, "Knock yourself out."

"Really Tamsin?" Dyson intercepted the files and removed all the graphic photos of the victim. All that remained was written paperwork and pictures of the site where the victim was found.

"What?" Tamsin shrugged and smirked. "Girl wants to see some pictures."

Charlie thumped a photo and proclaimed, "I see him!"

"That's actually a tree," Tamsin regretfully informed.

"He's invisible," Charlie retorted.

"_Well_," the blonde raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms, "she's nothing if not creative."

Looking at Dyson, the toddler nodded, "Wolf."

"Charlie." Dyson responded.

"No, Wolf," the girl shook her head, pointed to herself and softly growled. "Maybe he's here. Or _maybe_ he is a she."

Always happy to play with her, Dyson encouraged, "How about you find him? Just pick up a scent."

Charlie hopped down and stalked around smelling at the air. Lauren returned and witnessed her daughter sniffing and snarling. She asked the two detectives, "What is she doing?"

Tamsin eagerly answered, "Apparently, the Mesmer is here and your human daughter is going to use her killer schnoz to track him down."

Although still a bit peeved about Charlotte's outburst with Bo, Lauren couldn't help but smile. "She's a wolf?"

"Yeah and she's definitely channeling the D-Man," Tamsin stifled a sudden burst of laughter. "She's doing his signature move of ripping off the shirt."

Flabbergasted, the doctor sprinted over and pulled the pink shirt down over the girl's exposed stomach. "Honey, you need to keep your shirt on. It isn't modest to undress in public."

"But Auntie Kenzi told me. She said he takes off his shirt."

"At the _slightest_ hint of trouble," Tamsin confirmed.

"Rawr!" Charlie aggressively clawed at the Valkyrie's dark jeans. "Rawr, rawr, rawr!"

Tamsin backed away and joked, "Chill your shit, Killer."

"Tamsin!" Lauren admonished, "Please watch your language around Charlotte."

Nodding sternly and wagging a finger at the detective, Charlie ordered, "Yes, Tamsin. Control yourself. We have a case."

"We need to find an invisible Mesmer," Dyson reminded.

"Only a wolf can find them." With that said, the blonde girl scanned the room and then accosted the closest officer, "Can you turn invisible? You smell funny."

The man looked confused as Dyson apologized, "Sorry, Tom. She's on a mission."

"To find an invisible perp?" He shook his head and concluded, "Quite the imagination."

As he sauntered away, Charlie smiled up at the Wolf and giggled, "Hehe, silly human." As Dyson ruffled her hair, she added, "He's not special like me." She pointed to a female officer and asked, "Should I wolf out?"

"I think she's innocent."

"How do you know?" Charlie inquired skeptically with her hands on her hips.

He leaned down and whispered in her ear, "She's not invisible."

"Oh! You're right." Charlie quickly agreed. "How will we find them?"

"I'm sure we'll figure it out."

"Charlotte," Lauren addressed the girl from a few feet away, "Your Mommy is going to be here in a few minutes. I'd like you to apologize."

"Yes ma'am," Charlie answered seriously.

"Uh oh," Tamsin mocked, "Somebody's in trouble."

Dyson squatted down, "What did you do?"

Attempting to recall Lauren's exact words from that morning, Charlie answered, "I was disobee-dent and inconsid-ret."

"Oh no," Dyson murmured mimicking the girl's stern tone.

"I think I was mean," Charlie speculated. "Mommy just always says 'yes'."

Although he didn't know the specifics, he imagined the little girl had given Bo a hard time and made it impossible for the soft-hearted succubus to refuse her. "You know why she can't say 'no'?"

"Cuz I'm cute?"

He flicked her nose, "That's true, but also because she loves you very much."

"But Mama loves me too. She says 'no' all the time." A dramatic shrug accompanied her observation.

Dyson explained, "Your Mommy feels like she's done a lot of bad things she needs to make up for." Despite Charlie's actual age, he preferred to speak plainly and offer details she might not understand. He continued, "She always wants to make you happy."

"I am happy. I love her." She seemed a bit baffled by the notion of her mother not making her happy.

"I know, Charlie. She just tries a bit too hard."

She scratched her head and offered, "Maybe I can make _her_ happy." She sniffed the air and pointed to the coffee pot. "She likes that."

"Would you like to get her some?"

"Yes, please." They both walked to the pot of the delicious smelling beverage. As Dyson poured the liquid into a styrofoam cup, Charlie stood on her tiptoes and peered over the counter. She instructed, "One of those," she pointed to a small cup of creamer. "And two of those," motioning to white sugar packets.

"Just how she likes it," Dyson smiled as he stirred the contents. He saw Bo walk in and handed the cup to Charlie. "She's here."

She slowly toddled over to her mother and exclaimed, "Mommy! Mommy! I got you coffee." The girl stumbled and spilled a few drops on the floor. Her lower lip poked out in sadness and she muttered, "I'm sorry."

Touched by her blonde girl's thoughtfulness, Bo assured her, "It's okay, Sweetheart. That's very nice of you."

Charlie placed the cup in Bo's hands and said, "Sorry I was mean. I love you."

Bo bent over and kissed the toddler on the head, "I love you too, Charlie."

Reluctantly, she added, "You can say 'no'. But not a lot, please."

The brunette straightened up, took a sip of the coffee and replied, "I'll work on it. What have you been up to?"

"Trying to find an invisible Mesmer," Tamsin answered.

"A what?"

Charlie tapped her nose, "Only a wolf can find it."

"Oh," Bo nodded in realization as she pointed to the blonde man, "Dyson. She's you."

"Yup," the girl confirmed, "We're going to find him." Tilting her head up, she turned around and narrowed her eyes as she considered her options.

"Hey, Babe," Lauren wrapped her arms around Bo from behind. Unfortunately, her loving embrace upset the cup of coffee and it tumbled from the brunette's hands.

"_Owie_!" Charlotte complained as the warm liquid spilled down her head.

"Ha! Well, shit!" Tamsin laughed.

"Aww, Sweetie!" Bo knelt down and wiped the girl's face with her hands. Of course, that didn't do much good.

"Oh my god," her other mother declared as she too took a knee and brushed the girl's drenched hair behind her ears. "I'm so sorry. I didn't see the coffee."

Charlie licked her lips and smirked, "Mmmm. Tastes good. I do like coffee."

* * *

**Someone mentioned a shirtless Dyson in a review. Of course, I couldn't pass up making a reference to that. I'm very excited to offer up another Doccufamily episode soon!**


	6. TamBum

**I must immediately give credit to whomever coined the phrase "TamBum". I picked it up from a place that shall not be named.**

**Enjoy Charlie!**

* * *

"Boom!" Tamsin shouted as the blue solid ball slammed into a corner pocket. With only the six and eight balls standing between her and victory, she bragged prematurely. "Well, Dyson, you better get ready to cough up fifty bucks. I'm kicking your fu—"

"Funtastic!" Kenzi interjected glancing over at Charlie sitting in a chair contently swinging her dangling legs.

"A—"

"Amazeballs!" The girl cut the blonde off again.

"Amazeballs?" Tamsin snickered. She missed her next shot and cursed under her breath.

"If you nix the expletives, then this wouldn't happen."

As Dyson circled the pool table searching for the best shot among his four remaining balls, Charlie leaped down and asked, "What's espitives?"

The Valkyrie answered, "Bad words like da—"

"Dash it all!"

"And sh—"

"Shuck my corn," Kenzi concluded.

Tamsin commented, "You just get better and better."

The toddler yanked Tamsin's blue leather jacket off a table and into her arms as she noted, "I like espitives."

Watching Charlie poke out her tongue in concentration as she struggled to shove her arms into both sleeves, the blonde woman suggested, "Be sure to tell your moms how much you like them."

"Speaking of moms," Kenzi observed, "They aren't here."

Dyson took a shot and rearranged the balls without any payoff. Pleased with her partner's failure, Tamsin stated, "Humans are super smart."

The Wolf pointed to the Goth and clarified, "Kenzi, you're babysitting." When Charlie grunted with frustration, Tamsin sighed outwardly and chuckled inwardly as she helped the girl pull the jacket onto her shoulders.

"No I'm not!" Kenzi objected.

Confused, Charlie asked, "Who's watching me?"

"Not it!" Tamsin quickly replied as she studied the pool table layout.

"Tammy!" the little blonde girl snapped with her hands planted firmly on her hips.

The Valkyrie shook her head at Charlie and reiterated, "Nope." No matter how deep the woman buried her affections for the toddler, Charlie perceptively saw right through her. She plastered on her best face of absolute devastation and widened her chocolate brown eyes. Tamsin groaned. _That cute little bitch_. "Fine," she caved. She held out a long index finger and ordered, "Stay."

Dyson observed, "I can't imagine why you don't have any children."

"Gotta do the nasty to pop out little almost-people," Kenzi noted.

Almost offended, Tamsin exclaimed, "I have plenty of sex."

Kenzi winked, "Sureeee."

Ears perking up, Charlie queried, "Tammy, what's sex?"

Uneasy as to how the next few minutes would unfold, Dyson grumbled, "Nice job, Detective."

Completely unfazed, Tamsin tucked her upright pool cue into her shoulder. In order to demonstrate, she pressed her left index finger against her thumb in the shape of a circle and then thrust her right index finger in and out of the hole.

"Tamsin!" Dyson admonished.

Lining up her shot, the Valkyrie returned, "Dude, the birds and the bees is overrated. Hand motions are far more effective."

Kenzi said, "You better hope she doesn't pass that along to her darling parents." With her words accompanied by gestures, she said, "Tick, tick, tick BOOM."

Charlie's eyes darted between the three adults. Old people were puzzling sometimes. For some reason, they got so upset about certain words. As the toddler's brain turned, Tamsin easily sank the green six ball into a middle pocket and concluded, "I did them a favor." Once again, she flubbed her second shot, which happened to be her first attempt at the eight ball.

As Tamsin propped her pool stick against a wooden column, Kenzi scoffed, "All I can picture is Lauren's head exploding."

Only slightly concerned, Tamsin said, "Well, in that case," she shook her empty beer bottle, "I'm going to need more beer." She glanced over, ambled over to the adorable girl in her jacket and asked playfully, "Do you want one?"

"What the Fae," Kenzi spouted.

"I'm kidding, human." She patted Charlie on the head and addressed Kenzi, "Chill your sh—"

"Shut up," Dyson finished. He leaned across the green table and easily pounded a ball into a pocket.

Groaning, Tamsin mumbled, "Dammit." She squatted in front of the toddler and offered a different beverage, "Do you need some baby formula or something?"

The little girl grinned as she lightly punched the woman on the shoulder. She informed her, "I'm not a baby, Tamsin."

The laughing Valkyrie tapped the girl on the arm with her fist and tried again, "Milk?"

"Apple juice," the girl countered.

Tamsin stood up and nodded, "Apple juice it is." As she turned and walked away, an ingenuous idea popped into Charlie's head. She toddled over to a stack of napkins and started shoving them down the back of her pants.

After Dyson missed his follow-up shot, he looked over and questioned, "Charlie, what are you doing?"

With a broad smile, Kenzi hopped over to assist as she instantly put the pieces together. "She wants a TamBum."

"Hehe," Charlie bounced, "TamBum." She and her Aunt Kenzi squeezed as many paper napkins as they could in the seat of her pants.

Sitting on the edge of the pool table, Dyson joked, "Bo and Lauren would love this."

"They'd love what?" the Valkyrie returned with a beer and a small glass of juice. Kenzi stepped aside to reveal the blonde girl who shook her little ass in response. Tamsin smirked and said approvingly, "If she was going for me, she's done well."

Charlie giggled and waddled over to Tamsin's abandoned pool cue. "My turn!" she declared.

"Slow your roll," the Valkyrie set down their drinks and warned. "I've got money riding on this shot." She tried to snatch the stick but tiny hands clung to the wood for dear life.

"I wanna play like you," Charlie explained.

Flattered by the girl's attention, Tamsin opted to help her rather than argue. She dragged a chair over in front of the cue ball and stood the girl on the seat. "First off," she flipped the stick around, "It goes this-a-way." As the girl basically flattened herself on the table, Tamsin positioned her little hands on the stick and placed both of hers on top of them. With her right hand, she grazed the pool cue back and forth over their left fingers and instructed, "Alright, biggest thing, do not let the white ball hit the black one and then go into a hole." At this point, she just didn't want to scratch.

"Why is that bad?" Charlie tilted her head to peek up at Tamsin.

"I'll lose fifty bucks."

"Then you'll kick my little ass?"

"Charlie!" Kenzi scolded.

The Valkyrie nodded and answered, "Basically, yeah." She followed up with a whisper, "Don't tell your moms about that word or they'll kick _my_ ass."

Charlie smirked and replied, "Promise, Tammy."

"Alright, let's do this," Tamsin said. She counted slowly, "One, two- "

"Three!" Charlie jerked forward. Unfortunately, the cue ball grazed the eight and promptly rolled into a corner pocket. The little girl shouted, "Da—"

Tamsin clapped a hand over her mouth, "Whoa there, kid. Don't get all uppity."

"But your money," Charlie whined as she wiggled out of Tamsin's arms and jumped off the chair.

A little irritated, Tamsin replied, "Yeah, you did lose my fifty bucks." Next thing she knew, Charlie kicked her foot and held up her beer.

In a defeated tone with her juice in hand, she declared, "We need a drink."

"Great, she's learning to be an alcoholic," Kenzi said.

As Dyson chuckled, Tamsin took the bottle and agreed, "It always makes things a little brighter."

Charlie reached up to chink her glass against Tamsin's beer bottle, "You'll beat Uncle Dyson next time."

"As long as you're not helping," the Valkyrie said. Charlie smiled and tipped back her cup.

"Hello, Big Butt," Bo called out from behind her daughter. You couldn't help but notice her stuffed pants as well as one napkin slipping out of one leg of her jeans.

The blonde woman made a sweeping gesture and declared, "Behold, lil' Tamsin."

"Every parent's nightmare," Bo corrected.

"Oh, I turned out just fine."

"Maybe according to Jeffrey Dahmer's parents," Kenzi remarked.

"Mommy!" Charlie sprinted to Bo and flung her ass in the air, "Look at my TamBum."

Bo cocked an eyebrow, "Really?"

"Apparently, it's a thing," Tamsin shrugged.

Tugging at her mother's pants, the little blonde reminded, "Mommy, you said I could have ice cream."

She knelt down and straightened the blue jacket, "Yes, I did. I'll take you to get some in a few minutes."

"Can Tamsin take me?"

Bo glanced up at the less than excited woman and stated, "Umm. I don't think she wants to take you, Sweetheart."

Offended, Charlie spun around and stared down the stubborn Valkyrie. She squeezed her eyes almost shut and suggested, "You want to take me."

Kenzi chirped, "She's so valkyrie-ing you."

Slowly, the girl marched closer and said, "You're hungry for ice cream. You want to take me to get ice cream."

Unable to withstand Charlie's fake valkyrie abilities, Tamsin threw up her hands, "Alright, I give." She swept the girl into her arms and poked her on the forehead. "Why are you so cute?"

"You just poked her on the forehead," Kenzi observed.

Confused, the Valkyrie asked, "Isn't that something you do to kids?"

In response, Charlie poked her right back and disagreed, "I think that's just you." Remembering a conversation from earlier, the girl swiveled toward her mother, "Guess what I learned about?"

"What's that?"

"Se—"

"Sober living!" Tamsin interrupted. "We're gonna get ice cream in this girl's mouth before god knows what comes out." With the girl in tow, the Valkyrie basically sprinted out the door. "Geez, Charlie," she complained, "Do you want me to get in deep shit?"

"Hehe, sex."

"I am one very dead valkyrie," Tamsin mumbled.

* * *

**I'm afraid I'm going to have to make Charlie grow up to mimic some of the other characters, but I really can't let her toddler self go. I think she can pull off Hale at this age. We'll see where it goes after that.**

**Thank you so, so much for reading and commenting! I'm glad to be writing some happy in the midst of the very long hiatus.**


	7. Lil C

**Hello everyone! Holy crap, I glanced at the number of reviews before editing this and I don't think that I can thank you guys enough for the support. I'm absolutely thrilled with your reception of little Charlie. I do apologize for the long waits between updates. My living situation is impeding my writing. Boo on that. Enjoy our favorite little Doccutoddler!**

* * *

"Hey Hale, have you seen Charlie?" Bo rounded the corner and walked into the Ash's speakeasy office at the Dal.

"Are you sure she came down here?" Lauren asked her wife as they both scanned the room for the man or their wayward daughter.

Bo looked over and spotted Hale's unmistakable hat on the table in a booth. He appeared to be sleeping, "Wake up, Hale!" Bo demanded as she clapped and marched forward.

Before the brunette could repeat herself, the fedora popped up off the table revealing the nose and mouth of the missing girl. Laughing at her in the over-sized hat, Lauren acknowledged, "Well there you are, Sweetheart. We couldn't find you anywhere."

"I think that's my Charlie," Bo speculated as she scratched her head, "but I can't quite see her pretty eyes."

The girl tilted her head back and peered under the brim, "Here are my eyes, Mommy!"

"There she is," Bo exclaimed. Stepping behind her wife, Bo wrapped her arms around the woman's waist and propped her chin on her shoulder. She said, "We found our girl under a hat like a rabbit."

Charlie lifted the hat a bit exposing her whole face and noted, "I'm not a rabbit."

"Then what are you doing under a hat?" Lauren teased. She pecked her wife on the cheek and joked, "What are we going to do with her?"

Deferring the question to Charlie, Bo asked, "What are we going to do with you, Lil Rabbit?"

The girl leaned back in the booth and tucked her hands behind her head with her elbows extended to the sides. In a smooth, relaxed voice, she replied, "I'm the Ash, Lil Mama."

Snickering, Bo asked, "Doesn't Hale call Kenzi that?"

Even Charlie knew Hale usually reserved that name for her aunt, but she defended herself, "Auntie Kenzi's not here." She cleared her throat, lowered her voice and motioned to her blonde mother, "Doctor Lewis."

Not in a hurry to return home to the Charlie toy storm that awaited them, Lauren replied, "Yes, Ash?"

Trying her best to sound official, the girl stated, "I need something. Can you do some tests on monster stuff?"

"Monster stuff?" The blonde did her utmost to maintain a professional composure while Bo giggled in her ear.

"Yes. Bad monster stuff. It's in the lab."

"Monsters in a lab?" Hale strolled in the room. "Should I know about this?"

Charlie waved and chirped as she slipped out of character, "Hey, Hale." She pointed to her head, "Look what I've got."

"Is that mine?" Hale crossed his arms playfully.

"It's the Ash's. I'm the Ash," Charlie declared.

"Duh," Bo added as she slid to the side of her wife with one hand still resting on her waist, "Did you miss the inauguration?"

"Must have," he laughed. "I was a little busy with two redheads. Girl, they were frea—"

"That's where I'm going to stop you," the brunette held up a hand with a not so amused look on her face.

Lauren added, "We already have Tamsin polluting her mind."

Hale pressed a fist to his mouth and blared with hilarity, "Oohhhh that's right! How'd you deal with the…" he paused to glance over at the toddler drumming on the top of his fedora. He continued, "Ya know. Kenzi told me about the other day." The completely blank stares from the women shut him up. Clearly, the s-e-x slip hadn't made its way back to her parents. Desperate to change the subject, he clapped his hands together and asked Charlie, "So, what's this about monsters?"

"Doctor Lewis needs to check," Charlie replied. The hat kept slipping down her forehead and over her eyes. Frustrated, a flailing hand knocked it off and it tumbled to the ground. She craned her neck over the edge, "Oops."

"It's alright, Lil C," Hale shrugged as he waltzed over to retrieve it.

Lauren sighed, "I wish you wouldn't call her that. You're very resourceful. Can you not think of something else?" If the blonde had her way, everyone would call her Charlotte. However, unless the girl was being reprimanded, even Bo neglected to use her full name. Of course, she adored the way her wife addressed their daughter. The first time Bo held the girl in her arms, a tear dripped down her cheek and she whispered, "Charlie, you are the most perfect thing I've ever seen." With that on her mind, she threaded her fingers through Bo's and squeezed.

"But I like it, Mama," Charlie declared in defense of Hale's nickname for her.

Bo planted a kiss on Lauren's cheek as she swung their hands between them. She said, "Yeah, she loves it, Babe."

With the thoughts of Bo's first words echoing in her head, she shot her an obviously forced look of frustration, "You are never any help."

"I'm super helpful!" Bo disagreed lightheartedly. She loved the twinkle in Lauren's eye when she tried to cling to irritation. Bo always managed to weasel herself back into her good graces with a cute remark and a kiss. Sometimes, she took the low road of heavy flirtation, "I can show you how helpful." She bit her bottom lip and stepped closer.

With Bo's hand now inching up the back of her shirt, Lauren chided, "That is not going to work."

Staring at the doctor's mouth, Bo purred, "What's not going to work?"

Around the time her moms inched closer, Charlie asked Hale, "Are they doing that thing?" Although the girl couldn't understand, she knew that when their hands wandered and their eyes locked, the rest of the world melted away.

"What thing?" Hale returned. He braced himself as he thought the 's' word was about to be thrown his way.

"Where they kiss and get happy."

He couldn't help but laugh at Charlie's interpretation of flirting. He acknowledged, "Yup, that's happening."

Charlie huffed, "I don't like it."

He slouched into the opposite side of the booth and asked, "Why not?"

The girl crossed her arms, dropped them on the table and plopped her chin on her wrists. She whined, "Cuz they don't pay attention to me."

"Dang girl, you have no shame." He snickered, "You must get that from Kenzi."

The girl sighed, "Yeah. We just get bored."

"You need to ditch that attitude. You'll do that someday with some hot dude."

"Or girl," she added.

"That's right. You'll get all kinds of happy." Realizing he was hinting at sex to a four year old, he quickly followed up, "So, monsters?"

With the topic revived, Charlie called out, "Doctor Lewis!"

As Bo and Lauren jerked around to face their daughter, heels clicked in the hall and a female voice thundered before a body came into view. "Almighty Ash who has managed to stay alive," the Morrigan strutted into the room, "for far longer than I expected."

Bo exhaled, "Perfect."

Charlie squirmed off the leather and jumped down onto the hardwood. The curly haired brunette continued, "And the Succubitch, her wench and Mini Wench."

As the woman spoke, the little girl snatched the hat from Hale and walked forward. With the brazen confidence of the Light Fae leader, Charlie situated the fedora on her head and said, "What do you want, Evony?"

Raising an eyebrow, the brunette noted, "Cheeky little chica aren't you?"

"Nope," Hale ambled forward and explained, "Just taking care of business."

As her gaze fell on the tiny and oddly assertive human, Evony sniggered, "Is the Light Fae so desperate that they're relying on the doctor's spawn?"

With an unimpressed tone, the little blonde replied, "Hilarious, Morrigan."

The woman pointed and asked, "Seriously, why am I being accosted by a child?"

Enjoying his little sidekick, the Ash responded, "Just delegating less important tasks."

Slightly worried about the unfolding events, Lauren stepped toward her daughter and recommended, "Why don't you let Hale handle her, Sweetie."

Charlotte turned to her mother and flashed a smile. With a wink, she answered, "I got this, Mama." Without even giving the Morrigan the courtesy of eye contact, she asked blandly, "What do you want?"

Instead of addressing Charlie directly, the Morrigan told Hale, "We've got a bit of a human problem."

"And that's my problem?" Charlie queried sarcastically as she removed the hat and attempted to spin in as Hale often did.

"My thoughts exactly," Hale agreed.

Evony fired back in frustration, "It will be when it spreads into Light Fae territory. And Honey, it's moving like a California wildfire."

Charlie glanced up at Hale and asked, "Is she trying to help us?"

"I don't know, Lil C. That's not usually her style."

The Morrigan flicked her fingers in the toddler's direction and said, "Succubus, would you remove your human offspring so I can hold an actual conversation with the Ash?"

"Rude!" Charlie blurted. She slammed the fedora on her head.

Bo whisked the girl into her arms and said, "I think I'd rather have you around Tamsin." She gently removed the hat and tossed it to Hale.

Initially, the little blonde struggled, but a soft kiss from her mother quelled her disappointment. She buried her face into Bo's shoulder and mumbled, "I love your kisses."

Her blonde mother patted the girl on the behind and said, "You have a room full of toys to clean up at home."

"We can race! I bet I can put away more toys that you!" Bo teased.

Charlie shook her head and grinned, "No way, Mommy. I'm faster."

"Ugh," Evony complained, "This is an absolute snore fest. Please go play house somewhere else."

With narrowed eyes, Charlie glanced back at Hale, "You got this?"

He flipped his hat a few times and replied, "I got this, Lil C." They both thrust their fists forward and bumped their knuckles together.

As the family scooted toward the doorway, Charlie locked eyes with the pompous woman and sneered, "Good to see you, Evony."

Before she could throw back a snippy response, the Ash asked, "You gonna tell me why I should help you?"

The toddler bounced in Bo's arms as they walked out of the Dal. She said, "I miss that hat."

"It looked so good on you," Lauren commented.

"Thanks, Mama! Oh," the toddler leaned back so she could see both of her mothers, "I have a question."

"Question away," Bo encouraged.

Tilting her head to the side, the words tumbled from her mouth, "What's sex?"

* * *

**I thought it might amuse you to know that I actually get nervous when I post these... I feel like you guys have really high expectations :) I'd hate to disappoint. Also, trying to follow TamBum is scary in and of itself. That might be my favorite. Hale certainly isn't my strong point.**

**There was a question as to what I was going to do after I've finished all of the characters. I don't really have an answer to that yet, lol. I actually have a few random Doccufamily scenes swimming between my ears that I'd love to share with you, even though they don't involve any mimicking. Any opinions on that? I'm open to suggestions.**


	8. The Negotiation for Caramel

**With your blessing, I've composed a one shot unrelated to character imitations. A usually uneventful activity for us is anything but when you insert our favorite Doccutoddler. After receiving such positive and very thoughtful feedback, I couldn't help but materialize a random family outing. There seems to be a pattern: I write; you guys chuckle and smile; you graciously comment, follow and favorite; I chuckle and smile; then I write some more. I could thank you all forever, but I'd hate for Charlie to be overshadowed by my gushing. She'd hate that. You might see a PM from me expressing my thanks. You guys are just too amazing to throw out a blanket of appreciation. Without further ado, Charlie...**

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Bo maneuvered a shopping cart down the canned goods aisle of a local grocery store. She glanced down and smiled at her little helper who shuffled beneath her with tiny hands curled around the plastic handle. Charlie was humming to herself and bobbing her head. Out of the corner of her right eye, she glimpsed the wide blue cans and pointed, "Don't we need my favorite soup, Mommy?"

Her mother smiled. Charlie recognized the Progresso cans and she never forgot to remind her mothers to buy her 'favorite soup', which happened to be tomato basil. When Lauren whipped together a meal of a grilled cheese sandwich and the warm red soup, Charlie planted sloppy kisses on her face and thanked her for at least an hour. Snatching up a couple cans, Bo concurred, "Maybe we can have this tonight."

"Grilled cheese!" the girl happily slapped the handle with her palms as she resumed her cheerful humming.

Kenzi peeled into the aisle wielding two water pistols. "Find of the century!" she beamed. "Fiery Fae beware!"

"I'm not buying those," Bo replied. While she adored the wild child in her friend, she wondered if they'd ever be able to make a grocery shopping trip without an absurd purchase request.

"C'mon, Bobo," Kenzi popped off imaginary water shots at the woman and warned, "you'll be sorry when some Crazy Mofo waltzes in with flames shooting out of his face."

"I could just grab a bat."

"Ha," Kenzi reminisced, "Do you remember when you grabbed a bat, swung open the door and Lauren dropped all that shi-stuff on the ground?" She chuckled, "Classic Doccubus interaction."

"Aww. She made me breakfast! I hated that."

"And _you_ made her drop it."

"Five finger discount?" a small voice beneath Bo offered. Her brain was stuck on Kenzi's water guns.

"No, no, no, no," Bo repeated forcefully as she tapped her blonde daughter on the head. "That's not okay. We don't steal."

Turning around to face her mother, the child looked up and replied, "Auntie Kenzi told me it's re-dis-boo-tion."

"Did she?" Daggers from Bo's eyes rocketed toward the now nervous woman fiddling with the plastic treasures.

"I never!" Kenzi recovered in a high pitched Southern belle voice. "I'd never dream of corrupting such a darling child."

"Why do I find that hard to believe?" the brunette's eyebrow shot up.

Maintaining the Southern composure, she continued, "If I'm lyin', I'm dyin'. And I didn't just fall off the turnip truck..." she strung together random phrases, "and too big fer my britches... and can't carry a tune in a bucket..." Kenzi sighed. "I'm plumb outta sayings."

Charlie emerged from behind the cart and remarked, "That made no sense."

"Didn't make a lick of sense!" Bo proudly contributed to her friend's spiel.

"Darn tootin'." Kenzi replied. With the Succubus now in good humor, she asked again innocently, "So about these super awesome water guns..."

"Still a no," Bo repeated.

Lauren jogged up behind her wife with a loaf of bread and rolls tucked under her arm, "Okay, I managed to find my brand of bread. What do we have left?"

Charlie toddled over to Kenzi and stretched her body upward to whisper in her ear, "Mama only eats one kind."

"Such a bread prude," the girl joked only loud enough for the little girl to hear.

"What are you two plotting over there?" Bo asked as she propped her forearms on the handle of the buggy.

"A brilliant plan to end world hunger," Kenzi answered.

Charlie suddenly realized, "We forgot strawberries!" Lauren placed her bread in the seat of the cart and smiled. "And apples!" her daughter declared.

"And caramel for said apples," Kenzi added.

"I think we should skip the caramel, Kenzi," Lauren decided. "We don't need more sugar in the house."

Charlie peeked up at Kenzi with eyes full of disappointment. Kenzi shrugged as she recognized that her quest for the gooey dipping sauce had just been doc blocked. However, the little blonde had no intention of giving up so easily. With an air of pure sweetness and innocence, she floated over to her mother. Picking at her fingernails anxiously, she asked, "Can we please have some?"

Lauren shook her head in spite of her daughter's entreaty. Charlie tugged on her hand wanting the doctor to stoop to her level. Squatting in front of the girl, Lauren explained, "Sweetheart, you know it's not good for your teeth." She tapped Charlotte's mouth with her finger, "Don't you want pretty teeth?"

"Of course, Mama," the child grinned. She placed a finger in both corners of Lauren's mouth and stretched her lips forcing a toothy smile across her mother's face. "I want teeth like yours."

Lauren pressed both of Charlie's hands to her lips and responded, "If you want pretty teeth, you have to stay away from sweets."

"And brush your teeth," the girl concluded with a single head nod.

"We can still buy the fruit. As long as we cut the apples and only eat them with meals. We don't want the sugar and acid to stick." She cupped Charlotte's face and pecked her on the lips.

"Wait, wait!" Charlie caught one of her mother's arms before she could stand. "I have an idea."

Lauren knew where this was headed. Still intending to refuse, she inquired, "What might that be?"

"Well," she took a step back and cleared her throat, "How about I do good things," she motioned to her right with her palm up, "and then I get caramel?" Her left hand flopped in the opposite direction. Her hands tipped up and down like two sides of a balance scale.

Bo bent down and kissed her wife on the cheek, "I say we check out her negotiating skills."

Lauren turned and caught Bo's lips with her own. "At least she doesn't have your succubus charm. We wouldn't stand a chance."

"She doesn't need it," the brunette chuckled. "She has her beautiful face."

"Works for me too," Kenzi stood a few feet away. "Check it," she batted her eyelashes and twisted her mouth into a coy smirk.

Without even looking back, Charlie disagreed, "Nope. It doesn't work for you."

"I'm adorable!" Kenzi gasped as she clutched her chest.

Spinning around, the little blonde muttered through the side of her mouth, "I'm trying to get us caramel." She placed her index finger over her mouth, "Shhh."

"Geeezz, bossy," the woman mumbled with her hands thrown up in a surrender position and her weapons pointed toward the ceiling.

"Mama."

"Yes?"

The girl extended her left hand and counted her fingers with her right index finger as she spoke, "I promise: No clothes on the floor. No arguing."

"No more arguing?" Bo scoffed. Not a single day passed without the girl rushing headfirst into some kind of squabble. She was four, after all.

"That's quite a promise," Charlotte's other mother replied.

"No, no, no," the girl clarified, "No more for a _week_."

"There had to be a catch," Bo replied rubbing her wife's shoulder as she stood over the pair.

"Anything else?" Lauren pressed. She wasn't yet satisfied with the proposed trade.

"No more water fights..."

"Ah ha!" Bo exclaimed. Four times in the past two weeks, she or Lauren tromped into a bathroom with a soaked floor, water on the mirror and drenched dry wall. No one ever specifically took the blame, but both Kenzi and Charlie were scolded.

"She starts it every single time!" Kenzi accused.

"I do not!" Charlie shot back.

"You _so_ do," Kenzi waved her water pistols.

"Do not!"

"Yes you freakin' do!"

"Ladies," Bo interceded as a few people wandered by gawking at the adult and four year old quibbling.

Kenzi bent down and whisper yelled, "You're embarrassing me."

Charlie responded with a pink tongue in the woman's direction.

"Watch it," Bo chided. "You know not to do that."

"Didn't you mention something about not arguing?" Lauren prompted her daughter.

"Oh no!" Charlie shrieked as if she'd committed an unforgivable act. "Let's start again," she pleaded.

Brushing blonde hair over the girl's shoulders, the doctor conceded, "We can buy some caramel if you agree not to fight, pick up your clothes and avoid water altercations with Kenzi."

"For a week."

"For _two_ weeks," Lauren counteroffered. "And no more water fights _period_."

"Twooo, but—" the girl launched into a complaint, but stopped fearing that might fall into the 'arguing' category. She really wanted that caramel. Kenzi did too. Regardless of the hell Charlie rained down upon Bo's friend, she absolutely worshiped the ground she walked on. With a strained tone, the toddler begrudgingly agreed, "Yes, ma'am. Two weeks."

"Alright," Lauren kissed the girl's forehead before straightening up. "You and Kenzi go get some strawberries, apples—"

"And caramel!" Charlie finished as she jumped up and down and spun in circles.

"I wish I still got that excited about things," Bo commented.

Smirking, Lauren brushed her lips over her ear and whispered, "You get excited about other things. You'll be _very_ excited later."

Bo actually blushed and whipped her head around as if her wife had just announced that over a PA system. She stuttered, "Wow. I—I was not expecting that."

The blonde placed two kisses on her jaw and replied, "I do love it when I catch you off guard."

"Yo, Succuface," Kenzi announced, "I'm taking this," she pulled the cart to her, "and your bubbly child to the fruits and veggies section."

With one hand behind Lauren teasing the skin just above the waistband of her jeans, Bo replied, "And put those guns back."

"But—"

"Put them back, Auntie Kenzi," Charlie reached for the woman's hand as they walked away.

"I don't wannaaaa."

"Mommy said so."

"Are we fighting?" Kenzi wondered aloud.

"What?!" Charlie felt her heart drop to the floor. "We can't!"

As they turned the corner, the woman pointed out, "They can't hear us, Kiddo."

"It doesn't matter. I promised."

"How are you so cute, annoying and weirdly obedient? You're like a little yappy dog. Sometimes you wanna punch it, other times you wanna cuddle it."

Charlie lightly punched Kenzi in the knee and then wrapped her arms around the woman's leg, "Like that?"

Smiling, the woman directed the toddler to grab the handle, "You drive, Punchy."

"I have _another_ idea," Charlie told Kenzi as she assumed her assigned position behind the buggy.

"Well aren't you the mother of the year," Bo congratulated her wife hooking a finger around a belt loop on her pants.

The blonde turned to her and explained, "I'm pleased she's attempting to grasp the concept of sacrifice for something that she wants."

Captivated by the doctor's moving lips, Bo replied, "Except she basically promised to do things she should or shouldn't be doing in the first place. I give it two days."

"Baby steps, Bo. She might actually keep her clothes off the floor." She detached the finger from her pants, "And patience." She straightened the collar of Bo's jacket before pushing away.

"Oh, nuh uh," the brunette snagged her wrist, "you can't lead a girl on like that. It's cruel."

"Poor Bo," Lauren grinned as she slinked away. "Consider this payback for the other day."

"What other day?"

"You know what I'm referring to," the blonde threw over her shoulder.

Then it hit her, "Oh, that." A wide smile spread across her face.

"Uh huh."

"Hello, Succulette and Doctor Hotpants," a familiar voice rang out behind them. Lauren's blood pressure shot through the roof and Bo's grin drooped into a frown. The impending conversation/verbal assault had been planned out for days. Ever since Charlie informed them of Tamsin's little sexplanation, Lauren had been chomping at the bit to jump down the Valkyrie's throat. Bo assumed the discussion would be in private, but here they were.

"Tamsin." Bo blocked her wife with her arm as Lauren stormed toward the woman. Good thing there were no bats or swords within arm's reach. "We need to have a little chat." Her wife's fingers dug into her arm as she tried to push past her.

"Andddd goodbye," Tamsin knew precisely what this was about. She'd prolonged her trip to the States for as long as she could. She dreaded this very moment. A mad doctor was a scary doctor.

"Stop right there, _Tam Tam_," Bo sneered.

Groaning, the blonde crossed her arms and prepared herself for the wrath of the Succubus and her wife, "Go ahead and hit me."

Lauren flailed her arms, "Why in the world would you say that word?"

"Which one?"

"_Sex_, Tamsin. You said _sex_ in front of our daughter!"

"It just slipped out... it does that sometimes," the Valkyrie joked.

Bo's brain quickly replied, "You must be doing it wrong." Fortunately, those words never hit her vocal chords. Lauren would lose her shit.

"And!" the doctor pushed her wife's arm aside and stomped toward the taller blonde, "You gave her a demonstration?" Her voice jumped up an octave as she yelled, "What were you thinking? Do you have so little respect for us and the way we wish to raise our child? We do not expect you to model perfect behavior, but we _do _insist that you not broach topics with inappropriate subject matter."

Despite Lauren's red face and passionate speech, Tamsin couldn't help glancing around at the number of people staring. Being humiliated in public wasn't her thing. She stepped forward and calmly responded, "Look, if you wanna yell at me, that's fine. I'm up for that, but can we _please_ do it in the comfort of one of our homes?"

"You're unbelievable!" the doctor threw up her hands. "I apologize that the present setting is inconvenient for you!"

"It's inconvenient for _everyone_ in this damn store," Tamsin mumbled as she rolled her eyes. Glimpsing a zooming cart over Lauren's shoulder, she noted, "Wow. Why the hell do I hang out with you people?"

Confused, both Bo and Lauren turned around to see their cart barreling toward them. Kenzi peddled forward with one foot propped up on the back. Charlie lay flat on her stomach on the bottom shelf. She squealed with her arms extended to either side, "Mama! I'm flying!" A huge grin consumed her entire face as she flapped her arms up and down.

Her mothers were speechless. Although no longer audible, Lauren's parental rant snowballed into an unintelligence blob of fury. With her wife's yells lingering in her ears, Bo's brain struggled to adjust to Charlie's loud shrieks of delight as she and her aunt rocketed past a few people, who dodged the oncoming train.

Tamsin had no problem commenting on the present situation. Just as Kenzi slammed both feet on the ground and screeched to a halt, the blonde said, "Speaking of not modeling perfect behavior. _That_ doesn't seem safe."

"Whoa!" Kenzi realized what she and her playmate had just interrupted. "Girl needs popcorn." She fingered the metal wire on the buggy as she stared in wonder.

Bo quickly grabbed Lauren by the shoulders. She could literally hear her brain exploding. Despite the physical impediment, the blonde seethed, "Were you not listening?! God, you are infuriating! I cannot even splice together a coherent thought to relay my utter disappointment and disbelief at your callous approach on parenting."

"So," Tamsin paused to consider, "I take your breath away?"

Lauren's mouth hit the floor. "Wha—I. I can't even—What?"

"Oh. M. Gee." Kenzi whispered. "Best. Day. Ever."

Completely forgotten beneath the groceries, Charlie yelped, "Hey, hey. Mommy." Both Lauren and Bo turned to their daughter.

Despite her rage, Bo queried as nicely as she could, "What?"

The girl wiggled on the shelf of the cart and observed, "I'm stuck." Now very displeased with her current state, the girl's mouth sunk into a pout, "Please, help me? I don't like it anymore." Leave it to Charlie to completely diffuse a serious situation. Without hesitation or thought to the Valkyrie vs. Doctor showdown, Bo rushed forward, knelt down, and gently pulled her daughter from the metal cage she no longer enjoyed. When she emerged, her little arms squeezed her mother and smothered her with little kisses. "Thank you, Mommy."

"Sweetheart," Bo sighed, "You know better than that. It's dangerous."

"To fly?" Charlie scratched her head.

Bo couldn't even think straight, "I don't know. I'm going to have to go with the delayed discipline."

"Does that work?" Kenzi asked.

Groaning, Bo replied, "It's the only card I've got at the moment."

Oblivious to the verbal thrashing in progress, the blonde girl asked, "Can I have a grilled cheese?"

"Yes," Lauren snapped. Her lungs were growing sore from her heart banging within her chest with anger. Evacuation seemed necessary for all involved.

For some unknown reason, Tamsin swayed back and forth awkwardly as if glued to the floor. She questioned slowly, "Sooooo may I go?" Lauren and Bo shot the woman an identical look of disgust.

Noticing her 'friend', Charlie piped up and waved, "Hey, Tammy!" Her eyes darted between her two mothers, "Can Tammy have a grilled cheese too?"

"No!" All of the adults blurted in unison.

* * *

**I got a little lost at the end, but I think you guys will forgive me :)**

**Due to your overwhelming support, I've concocted another idea for a series of one shots. I've been steering clear of any Doccubaby fics I've run across so I don't steal anything from others' wonderful brains. However, I'd like to be sure I'm not jacking someone else's idea. If any of you read other fics with Charlie, would you mind shooting me a PM and either giving me a very brief description of any situations that have been written about or pointing me to Doccubaby fics?**

**To all of you stalking me (just kidding... I'm waiting for you guys to find me on tumblr, lol) from the place that shall not be named, thank you! I'll be sure to have a one shot ready to serve the next time things go to shit.**

****Oh and being from the South, I couldn't resist letting Kenzi do a little Southern ramble. I've wanted to squeeze some of that in for awhile. :)**


	9. Bonk

**Once again, thank you ever so much for your comments. I'm glad everyone enjoys a bit of a break from the drama of the show, although this hiatus is killer! Anywho, it was pointed out that Lauren and Charlie have had zero alone time, so I've fixed that. This is another random one shot. It's more cute than hilarious, but enjoy!**

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"Mama, Mama." A tiny voice and tug on her sheets jolted Lauren awake. "Mama, Mama," her daughter pleaded.

"Hey, Sweetheart," Lauren rolled over and flipped on the lamp light. She peered down at the girl wearing her favorite purple jammie outfit with a huge cat face on the chest. She noticed a strange look on her face. "What's wrong, Charlotte?"

Clawing at the sheets, the toddler stuttered, "I—I had a dream."

Lauren eagerly assisted her daughter who couldn't quite swing her little legs up onto the mattress. "Was it a nightmare?" She propped pillows up against the headboard and situated both of them against the warm padding.

As her mother wrapped one arm around her tiny shoulders and held her close, Charlie answered, "Kinda. It had scary parts." She snuggled into her mother's chest.

"Would you like to tell me about it?" Lauren kissed the top of the girl's head and gave her arm a reassuring squeeze.

"Well," Charlie began somewhat cheerfully. She motioned with her hands as she talked, "It started off happy. There was a little puppy. I played with him."

"What did you do with the puppy?"

She formed two fists and grunted as she slid her arms toward her, "We both pulled on a rope."

Smiling at her miming skills, Lauren asked, "Tug of war?"

"Yeah!" Charlotte glanced up at her mother with a wide grin. "I couldn't 'member."

"So the rope was in the puppy's mouth and you pulled with your hands?"

Still craning her neck upward, the girl's eyes echoed her small laugh as she corrected, "No, Mama. That's not fair. I used my teeth too."

Nodding at her daughter's flawless logic, Lauren replied, "Of course, that's only fair."

Now plucking at her own fuzzy pants, the blonde girl continued, "Then I got it away from him."

"You won!"

"Then he got mad," Charlie mumbled in return.

Lauren could hear her daughter's lip sinking into a frown. "Uh oh. What did he do?"

"Well... well..." Charlie paused between words. "He turned into a little bear." She clapped her hands onto her cheeks and exclaimed, "It scared me."

"Oh, no!"

"But he didn't hurt me," Charlie patted her mother's thigh. "He was a nice bear."

Cupping Charlotte's hand in her own, Lauren asked, "Did you play with the bear too?"

"He let me ride him!" the girl chirped.

The blonde gasped in response, "You rode a bear?"

"Yes!" She wiggled out of her mother's grasp and crawled a few feet away. Shifting onto her knees, she said, "I rode like this." She started bouncing up and down with her arms forward as if gripping reigns on a horse.

Even this early in the morning... or this late at night, Lauren wasn't sure which, her little girl entertained and reinforced her absolute contentment in raising a child. Her life before Charlotte now seemed to be merely a prelude to her full life she now enjoyed. As her girl bounced higher and higher with escalating giggles, Lauren asked, "Where did the bear take you?"

A little out of breath, the girl slowed her pace and answered, "To the woods. It got dark and scary." Her body froze and her eyes widened as if her dream played right before her eyes. "I told him I didn't like it. He said," she lowered her voice and growled, "_I'm taking you to the bad place_."

Sensing the girl's discomfort, Lauren stretched out her legs and patted her thighs, "Oh no, Baby. Come here."

The girl scooted over and plopped herself in her mother's lap. She ran her fingers over the ridges of Lauren's tank top and continued, "Then he took me to the bad place. I fell off." Her hands flew to Lauren's cheeks as she shrieked, "Then there were five bears! They were gonna eat me!" Pressing hard against Lauren's chest, she pushed herself to her feet and trotted away. "Then," she jumped around on the mattress, "You were there! You yelled, _Get away from my Charlotte_!"

Eager to hear what her next move had been, Lauren queried, "Then what did I do?"

The girl smiled with her entire body as she exclaimed, "You bonked all the bears on the head!" She toddled forward and gently tapped her mother on the head, "Like this. Bonk!"

Playfully poking the girl in the stomach, the blonde asked, "What happened to the bears after that?"

"They all said, _No, no don't hurt us_. Then they ran away."

"So I hit them on the head and they left us alone?"

The girl nodded violently as she giggled, "Guess what happened next?"

"Umm..." Lauren paused to think. Charlotte preferred her parents to actually guess. "The bears came back?"

"Nope, nope."

"We flew away?" the blonde smirked.

"No, silly," Charlie propped her hands on her hips and explained, "We can't fly in my dream."

Throwing her hands up in feigned frustration, Lauren sighed, "Well, I'm all out of ideas, Sweetie."

"We started dancing."

She gasped playfully, "Dancing?"

"Uh huh! We did the ice cream dance!" Oh, the ice cream dance. The little blonde had perfected the song and dance over the past few weeks. It made sense that it popped up in her dreams. A few days ago, she finally put the finishing touches on all of the dance moves. Now instead of asking for ice cream, she would tug on one of her mother's shirts and burst into song.

Sensing her eagerness to perform, Lauren prompted, "Can you do the ice cream dance for me, Charlotte?"

With a coy smile, the girl responded, "Well, since you asked…" The little girl carefully slid off the bed. After stepping a few feet away to give herself plenty of room to dance, she cleared her throat, crossed her legs and curved her arms over her head in a sloppy fifth position. With each sentence, she jumped to either side, flapped her arms up and down, and spun in a circle according to her carefully choreographed routine. "Ice cream is good. Ice cream is great. Ice cream is cold. Hey, hey, hey, hey." Still singing, she mimicked a conversation between two people. She shrugged her shoulders in one direction, "Can I have some ice cream?" Changed her voice and nodded in the other, "Yes, you can have ice cream." Then skipped in a circle, "Thank you, thank you, thank you. I do love you."

"Yay!" Lauren rose to her knees and clapped enthusiastically. With a stern expression, Charlotte bowed deeply and said, "Thank you, Mama. Thank you very much." She was so proud of herself. As her mother beamed with pride, her serious composure melted into giddiness.

"Do you like my ice cream dance?" Charlie clasped her hands together and swayed from side to side.

"It's absolutely wonderful," Lauren swung her legs off the bed and rushed over to the little girl. Swooping Charlotte up in her arms, she declared, "You would make a brilliant ballerina."

With a toothy grin, the girl agreed, "I did it all by myself!"

"Yes you did," she kissed her firmly on the cheek. "It's arguably the most impressive dance I've ever seen."

Knowing that her mother was exaggerating, Charlie pecked her on the nose and replied, "You're funny, but I love you. Oh!" she exclaimed. "The dream isn't over."

"Oh goodness, well tell me what happened."

"The bears came back. They heard my ice cream dance. Then they said, _We want ice cream_." She shrugged her shoulders as she narrated, "Then I said, _We don't have any_. They started going _grrrrrrr_." Charlie stopped.

"Well," Lauren pressed, "what happened next?"

"I dunno. I woke up. Did they get us, Mama?"

Setting her daughter on the ground, Lauren shook her head and replied, "No, I think we hit them all on the head again."

"We did?" Charlie squealed in excitement. "How? How?" In the corner of Lauren and Bo's bedroom stood a broom and a plunger. Apparently, their old plunger and broom had been decommissioned at the same time. Her wife picked up new ones at the store yesterday. Lauren retrieved the items and handed the plunger to her daughter. Confused, Charlie asked, "I hit them with the bouncy stick?"

"No, we're pretending. These are both big sticks." Lauren could only pray that Charlotte didn't cause serious damage with her new weapon.

"Yes they are!" Charlie quickly agreed. Pointing behind her mother, she cried, "Mama! There are two behind you!"

Before turning and swinging, Lauren motioned to the left and said, "You get those two!"

Charlie stomped over and swung violently at the air while her mother spun around and swatted at her own imaginary foes. The little girl made a swishing sound with every stroke and grunted, "I'll get you!" She marched around in a circle until making two decisive chops, "BONK! BONK!" Thrusting her finger toward the ground and raising the plunger high above her head, Charlie trumpeted, "I beat you!"

Hearing Charlie's triumphant words, Lauren groaned, "Help, Charlotte. I can't get them by myself."

Creasing her brow with determination, the girl sprinted over to protect her mother. "I'll get them, Mama!" She poked at the air as her mother took careful swings over her head. Gasping, Charlie pushed against her mother's leg, "Watch out!"

Lauren staggered to her left and took shelter behind her child. "You've got to get them, Honey." Two 'bonks' later, the enemies were vanquished. Remembering the fifth bear Charlie mentioned, Lauren asked anxiously, "Is there another one?"

The toddler's head jerked around as she held the plunger in a defensive position. Circling her mother, she sighed in relief and responded, "No. I must have scared him away."

Squatting on the ground, Lauren agreed, "Well, you were pretty scary. You singlehandedly defeated four bears."

"You helped a little, Mama," Charlie assured her.

"What's going on in here?" Bo walked into the room to find her wife with a broom and her daughter with a plunger propped on her shoulder.

"Mommy!" Charlie dropped her weapon and trotted over to the brunette. She jumped up and down until Bo pulled her into her arms. Lauren followed her daughter and Bo greeted them both with a kiss.

"What have my two lovely ladies been up to at five in the morning?"

"Fighting bears!" Charlie proclaimed.

Lauren clarified, "She had a bad dream. We decided to finish off the mean bears." As her daughter snuggled deeper into Bo's embrace, the blonde asked, "Did you make any progress on the case?"

Planting another kiss on Charlie's head, Bo replied, "Not at all. Stakeouts are the worst. Kenzi passed out around two and I read most of the owner's manual of my car.

"Sounds like you need some sleep, Babe."

"Yes, I do." Bo bounced the girl in her arms, "Maybe we all need some sleep. What do you think, Charlie?"

Turning to her mothers, the girl asked, "Can I sleep with you?" She stretched her arms in Lauren's direction and the woman willingly took her from her wife's arms.

"I don't think I can sleep without you," Lauren noted. "What if I have nightmares?"

"If there are bears, I'll bonk them."

"Did she just say 'boink'?" Bo laughed.

Lauren chuckled, "You need some sleep, Bo."

Motioning toward the bed, Charlie concluded, "Let's have sleepy time. I'll protect you from bears." As the trio strolled toward the beckoning mattress, the girl wondered aloud, "Mommy, what's 'boink' mean?"

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**My brain is in the midst of concocting the perfect Evony/Charlie encounter. I'll type it up as soon as it pops up!**

**For those of you wanting to know the steps to the ice cream dance, just PM me and I'll pass them along. I'm just kidding... why would I actually write and choreograph an imaginary song and dance? Also, it's in 4/4 time... And it's four measures long... please don't judge me. And _no_ I did not write this while writing MDX code at work and _no_ I cannot play the ice cream dance song on the guitar. How ridiculous!**

**Seriously, don't judge me. I'm suffering from baby fever, well, toddler fever. Yes, it's a thing.**


	10. Fireflies and Big News

**Hello all! I've been very much off my writing game as of late, but after seeing a couple very polite requests for an update in the place that shall not be named, a bit of my mojo returned. I'm always encouraged by your comments and PMs. Thank you so very much. I'm glad I'm able to entertain you.**

**This is a standalone Doccufamily chapter. It's not meant to flow with any of the previous updates and the events won't be reflected in later updates. I've had several prompts for two of the topics covered in this chapter so I figured I'd take a stab at them. **

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Excited giggles engulfed the miniature park with cheerful energy as the street lights illuminated its only remaining occupants, one of whom was on the brink of passing out. "Babe, I'm really tired. Can we pack it up and go home?" Bo dropped her weary head onto her wife's shoulder and squeezed the right hand resting on her thigh.

Lauren's arm grazed the smooth wood of a park bench as she slid a supporting left arm around the brunette. "Just stay with us for a little while longer. Look how much fun Charlotte is having."

The Succubus perked up at the mention of her daughter as her eyes followed Lauren's outstretched hand gesturing toward the toddler. Her blonde waves bounced with each leap as she tore across a patch of grass several yards away. Long since abandoned, Charlie's white shoes and socks lay in a heap next to Bo on the bench. After much grunting and pulling, the little girl had managed to roll up the legs of her jeans so as not to inhibit her athletic pursuits. Her pink cotton t-shirt, now untucked, fluttered around her tiny form. Flickering lights danced around the field a few feet above the ground. Operation Catch Fireflies was in full swing.

As soon as the sun had dipped beneath the skyline twenty minutes ago and the bugs emerged from seemingly nowhere, the little blonde playfully chased the lightning bugs around the park. "Firefliessss!" the girl squealed as she skipped in circles. With her arms thrust forward, she randomly clapped her hands together in the direction of any light she noticed. When her jaw wasn't hanging open due to laughs, her tongue poked out of the corner of her mouth in determination and concentration.

With a heavy sigh but light heart, Bo lifted her head and replied, "There's no way I could tear that kid away from fireflies even if I wanted to."

"She's almost as stubborn and independent as you. Did I tell you about her blatant refusal to rinse off her dishes?"

Amused at the thought, the brunette asked, "Since when does our kid do the dishes?" The girl in question spun in circles until her knees buckled beneath her out of dizziness and she collapsed into the grass. "Why does she do that?" Moments later, the girl snapped up giggling uncontrollably.

"She has no reason for the majority of her actions, including offering to rinse the dishes and then insisting they only needed the crumbs blown off."

"How did she figure that?"

Lauren's fingers caressed Bo's arm as she replied, "In her mind, she completed the task after she puffed the remainder of her sandwich into the sink."

Picturing her baby with crossed arms and defiant face, Bo chuckled, "How long did it take to convince her that she was wrong?"

"Really?" Lauren's eyebrow shot up in disbelief. "When has that ever happened?"

Bo turned to the blonde and pecked her on the nose, "Good point. For future parental reference, what happened after that?"

"I poured the rest of my coffee on the plate."

"You did what?" Bo's mouth dropped open at the thought of Lauren's hilariously rash response.

The blonde shrugged in amusement as she flicked her wife's drooped jaw, "Then she did _that_ and I kissed her on the cheek. Despite her obvious frustration, she smirked at me she said, 'Mama. That's really not funny.' With her typical annoyed, dramatic sigh she muttered, 'Now I have to wash it'."

With a smitten look and teasing voice, Bo remarked, "Since when do you stoop to her level?"

After planting a few small kisses on the woman's lips, Lauren responded, "Since I remembered the somewhat applicable statement of fighting fire with fire."

"In this case, snark with snark."

"And it worked."

"Mama, Mama!" Charlotte sprinted toward the seated women with folded hands and exclaimed, "I caught a pretty bug!"

Lauren applauded the beaming girl, "Wow! May we see?"

Still running and violently nodding her head up and down, the blonde smashed her small frame into her mother's knees when she forgot to slow down. "Oww!" Her body recoiled, but she recovered quickly and shoved her hands in the blonde's face, "Lookie, lookie!"

Laughing, the blonde guided the girl's hands downward by her wrists and said, "I can't see them if they are that close to my face." She cupped Charlotte's hands between her own and slowly pried the small hands apart with her thumbs. Within the open space, a small orange light blinked. With an engaged tone, Lauren replied, "It's beautiful, Honey."

"I named him Ralph and he's my new friend," the girl explained. As Charlie moved to show her other mother her beloved new companion, Lauren glanced up and tenderly tucked her daughter's wild locks behind her ears and brushed away streaks of sweat dripping down her forehead and cheeks. The formerly relaxing park trip had changed into a Charlotte runs wild adventure. She could only hope that the combination of her rapidly expended energy and a cool bath would sing the girl to sleep with ease. With her wife nearing the edge of exhaustion, she had already assumed bedtime prep duty.

After oohing and awing over Charlie's find, Bo suggested, "Why don't we let Ralph play with his other bug friends and you can see him tomorrow?"

Not at all pleased with the idea, the little girl replied, "I want to keep my friend. I want a forever friend to play with."

Bo and Lauren glanced at each other and anticipation replaced Bo's now waning fatigue. The moment of truth. The Succubus nodded at her wife as she pulled her daughter into her own lap.

Somewhat hesitant, Lauren offered up a story before breaking _the _news to the toddler, "Sweetheart, have I ever told you the story of Mommy finding out about you?"

Still holding onto the firefly, the girl thrust both hands toward her mother's stomach and replied, "Finding out that I was in there?"

Bo pressed her lips into her daughter's sweaty hair and lingered before replying, "Yup. It was when I found out she was pregnant with you."

Confirming that Charlotte understood, Lauren asked, "Do you remember what pregnant means?"

With a wide smile, the girl said, "Duh, Mama. It's a baby growing in there." She again motioned to Lauren's belly. She puffed out her chest and added, "I'm your baby. I'm super smart."

"No arguments here," the brunette agreed.

Charlie squirmed in Bo's lap as she got comfortable and prepared to enjoy her mother's story. She always loved hearing about anything relating to her. With one of Bo's hands wrapped around her stomach and the other stroking her hair, Charlie contently prompted, "What happened, Mama?"

Lauren bent one leg and propped it on the bench as she shifted to face her wife and daughter, she began, "One day while Mommy was at home, she walked into the bathroom and saw a little stick with a two lines on it. That means that—"

"Somebody's preggers!" Charlie interjected.

"How do you—? Oh," Bo nodded knowingly. "Did Auntie Kenzi tell you about those?"

"Uh huh," the girl peeked between her hands to check on her friend as she answered, "She always wants just one line cuz that means not preggers."

Lauren lifted an eyebrow and admitted, "Well, that's one less thing we have to explain."

"You have to pee on it. Yuck!" Charlie cringed and stuck out her tongue in disgust.

Rolling her eyes in amusement, her blonde mother continued, "Mommy found one in the bathroom and was very, very surprised."

"Let me clarify one thing," Bo waved a finger in the air. "Kenzi had been going through those things like candy. I still don't know what the heck was wrong with her. When I saw the thing, I figured it was hers."

"Then what happened?" Charlie pressed. Jointly, her mothers painted a vivid picture from over four years ago.

_"Holy freakin' crap, holy freakin' crap, holy freakin' crap!"_ Curse words were of course replaced. _Bo dropped the pregnancy test in the sink as she sprinted down the stairs. Finally, one of Kenzi's tests had come up positive. She snatched up a stray pair of boots and shoved her feet into them as she hopped toward the door. What the heck were they going to do? Her friend was a lot of things, but a mother wasn't one of them. Already halfway to her car, it dawned on her that she'd tossed her cell phone on the bed. Screw it. She knew where Kenzi was. Hopefully, she wasn't completely plastered and passed out on one of her grandfather's couches._

_"Crap, crap, crap!" Bo couldn't manage any coherent sentences even in her head. Her tires squealed as she backed out of the driveway and threw the car into drive. Speed limit? Screw it. The frazzled brunette never even bothered to look at the speedometer. Her heartbeat echoed in her ears and drowned out the road noise and the roar of the overworked engine. Kenzi... you careless little... Ergh! She pounded a fist on the steering wheel as she peeled into the alley near the Dal. One door slam, several heavy strides and a second door slam later, Bo found herself in the bar frantically scanning the room for her friend._

_She quickly spotted the girl at the pool table with Tamsin. From her casual behavior and the lack of terror on her face, you'd think absolutely nothing was amiss. As Kenzi leaned over the table to take a shot, Bo stomped over and snatched the pool cue out of her hands. "Hey!" Kenzi barked, "What the crap balls, Bobo?"_

_"Whoa," Tamsin noted as she tossed her own pool stick from one hand to the other. "Who the heck pissed you off, Succubus?"_

_Kenzi eyes widened at the look of fury on her friend's face as a strong succubus hand clutched her shirt and dragged her over to the wall. She muttered in a high pitched voice, "What the heck, Bo? Are you possessed or something? Are you… you?" She snapped her fingers in Bo's face as if testing her visual reflexes, "Bo, are you in there?"_

_The brunette swatted the hand away and whispered yelled, "I found the thing in the bathroom, Kenz. When were you planning on telling me?" She tossed an arm over her shoulder motioning to the Valkyrie and the green table. "You're just chilling here playing pool with Tamsin, after what I just freakin' saw?!"_

_"Holey moley, Batman," Kenzi pried her friend's fingers from her shirt and requested, "Please don't ruin this shirt. And what the heck are you talking about? Bathroom? Thing? No comprendo."_

_The brunette threw up her hands in defeat and exclaimed, "I found a freakin' pregnancy test on the sink, a __**positive**__ pregnancy test! Ring any bells?" She mocked Kenzi's previous snapping of fingers in the face._

_"What the fudge?!" Tamsin yelled. Her jaw hit the floor while laughter bubbled up to her throat, "You're freakin' pregnant?! That sounds almost as terrifying as me popping out a munchkin'."_

_Ignoring Bo's flared nostrils, Kenzi comically responded, "I don't even think your body is capable of the preggers thing. It's totes broken in that area." With a flattened hand, she gestured in a circular wiping motion in Tamsin's general direction with her eyes locked on the woman's stomach._

_"Kenzi!" The Succubus grabbed her friend by the shoulders and accused again, "Why are you lying about this! I saw the gosh darn stick! I'm not blind! You're pregnant!"_

_"Bo?" A soft voice interjected over her shoulder._

_Relieved at the sound of her wife's voice, the woman jerked around and sputtered, "Kenzi's pregnant and oh my god what are we going to do and holy crap this is a freakin' nightmare."_

_The blonde's forehead wrinkled and eyebrows crept upward as she slowly asked, "Bo, did you find the test?" Lauren was thoroughly confused. How did Bo not remember something they'd been talking about for months?_

_"Yeah!" Bo answered, "Did you see it too?"_

_The blonde's head dropped a bit as she waited for realization to set in. She got nothing. Bo's head bobbed with frustration as she still worried about her friend's pregnancy. The irritated voice of the Valkyrie shattered the silence and tension, "Holy crap, Succubus! Are you really this dense?"_

"How could you have been that dense?" Lauren interrupted the story to query her wife.

The woman sighed and confessed, "I have no clue. When I freak out, I'm one hundred percent locked on."

"You're silly, Mommy," Charlie stated as she grinned up at the brunette. As her mother smiled in response, her daughter chirped, "Kiss please?" Her normal tap on her lips was impeded by the firefly still trapped between her now rather sweaty hands. Regardless, Bo complied and earned a genuine "thank you" from her daughter. Eager to hear the tale, the toddler pleaded, "I wanna know what happened next, please." Her blonde mother picked back up with her wife still standing completely oblivious to the truth.

_"Dude!" Tamsin reiterated. "Come the heck on."_

_The two blondes and petite brunette stood stunned at Bo's complete ignorance. Glancing around at the three women staring at her with amused looks, Bo snapped, "What?" Focusing on her wife, she questioned, "Am I missing something?"_

_The naive twinkle in Bo's eye reminded Lauren how much she loved and adored her wife. While Bo had no qualms rushing into physical danger, she often overlooked things staring her square in the face. Closing the distance between them, the blonde quietly explained, "Sweetheart, Kenzi's not pregnant."_

_"Then who—" Finally, Lauren's look of joy and soft tone stuck her with reality. Her whole body turned to jelly as she struggled not to melt into the blonde's arms. Tenderly, she cradled her wife's face between her palms and whispered against her lips, "We're having a baby."_

_The blonde pressed her lips against Bo's toothy grin and confirmed between pecks, "We're having a baby." Not caring about the others standing in the bar, the two women embraced and kissed one another with an elation and affection they had never experienced. Bo's hands slid down to Lauren's waist as she—_

"Gross, Mama," Charlie interrupted. "Can we skip that part?"

Bo snickered as she recalled, "You know, I think someone else said something like that." The blonde nodded as she continued.

_"Okay guys. Can we skip this crap?" Tamsin begged the tenderly rejoicing couple. "I'm super happy about the little thing growing in there, but take the celebratory happy times somewhere else, por favor."_

_Barely acknowledging the Valkyrie's request, Bo leaned back to study her wife's glowing face, "I should have known. You're a different kind of beautiful today."_

_Lauren tucked a stray lock of Bo's hair behind her ear and replied, "It's a pregnancy glow." She searched the other woman's eyes as a finger traced her jaw, "It's finally happened. We're going to have a family."_

_"White picket fence?"_

_"I suppose I can manage without that if I must," the blonde teased._

_Crinkling her nose at Lauren's humor, Bo responded, "Thanks for roughing it with me."_

_Lightheartedly, her wife replied, "I'm married to a sex crazed succubus with a baby on the way. What else could I possibly want?"_

_"Closed doors!" Kenzi chimed in, "For Gaia's sake, closed freakin' doors."_

_Merely rolling her eyes at the girl's interruption, Bo grazed a hand against Lauren's stomach and asked, "So who's in there?"_

_Glimpsing at Bo's hand only inches away from the beautiful child inside of her, she answered, "Little Charlotte or Ethan."_

"Ethan?" Charlie chirped. "Who's Ethan?" Unable to decipher the odd looks on her parents' faces, the little girl accidentally released the bug from its fleshy cage as she repeated firmly, "Mommy... Mama... Who's Ethan?" As Bo and Lauren considered the right words, Charlotte smacked her palms against her own cheeks and gasped without uttering a word. She held her breath for a few seconds as her young, but capable brain pieced everything together. "Ma—are you?" Flooded with unfamiliar feelings, the little girl could only point at the blonde's stomach.

"No, Sweetie," Lauren pulled the girl into her lap and pecked her on the cheek. Charlotte immediately grabbed her mother's hands and wrapped them around her stomach. Instead of a comfort blanket, the little girl always found a safe haven in her mother's arms. During thunderstorms or after nightmares, the toddler flung herself onto Lauren's legs and pulled her arms around her. Nervously, she squeezed her mother's hands until her little knuckles turned white.

Noting her daughter's obvious anxiety, Bo rested a hand on Charlie's thigh as she chose her words as carefully as she could, "Your Mama isn't pregnant, Baby." Lauren shot her an encouraging smile as she continued, "But there might be an Ethan in a few months." The girl's hands tightened around her blonde mother's fingers. "You said you wanted a friend," the brunette offered. "Well, you're going to have something better. You're going to have a baby brother or sister."

The girl froze. She didn't blink. Their daughter's stillness concerned the women. Charlie wasn't one to ever stop moving. "Sweetheart," Lauren whispered. She couldn't see the girl's face, but the halted breathing prompted her query, "Are you okay, Charlotte?"

Able to see her daughter's expression or rather lack of expression, Bo pressed for some sort of reaction, "Charlie? Talk to us, Honey."

As if shaking herself from a dream, the little girl casually answered, "No thank you."

"No thank you what?" Bo asked.

"I don't think I want a brother or sister." Her statement was neither malicious nor demanding, but a simple request. Well, it was more of an innocent instruction.

Although not an ideal response, Bo sighed with slight relief. Charlie never failed to speak her mind, but at least she wasn't pitching a fit and crying. She replied, "You _are_ going to have one."

Following Bo's proclamation, the toddler released her death grip on Lauren's fingers and propped her hands on Bo's stomach. Curiously, she asked, "Is Ethan in there?" Before either mother could respond, she jerked back and shook her head, "No, no. I don't want him. You're my Mommy." Unwilling to consider sharing either of her parents, Charlie beckoned Bo closer with open arms. She tangled ten fingers in her mother's loose shirt and yanked with terse words, "You. Are. My. Mommy." Not forgetting her blonde mother, she glared up at Lauren and stated, "You're mine too."

She crawled into Bo's lap, sat up on her knees and tried to wrap her tiny arms around her mother's neck while staring up at her with pleading brown eyes. "We don't need anybody else. Do we?" Her voice cracked a little as confusion washed over her.

Terrified of an impending meltdown, the brunette planted small kisses on her forehead and cooed, "We are the perfect family, but your Mama and I want to give you a brother or sister."

"I have Auntie Kenzi," the girl noted.

"One day in the _far_ distant future, she's going to grow up," Bo responded.

Lauren rubbed her daughter's back and said, "If you have a brother or sister, you'll have someone your size to play with. They'll be with you forever."

"A forever friend?" Charlie struggled to swallow the concept of this new thing soon to be in her life.

"Only if you're sweet to them," the expecting mother clarified.

"Bo!" Lauren warned, unsure of Charlotte's interpretation of her wife's comment.

"I'm always sweet, Mommy," she assured the woman.

"Kenzi might disagree."

"Auntie Kenz makes things up. I'll be mostly nice and Ethan will like me," she concluded firmly.

Jolted by the girl's sudden acceptance, Lauren asked, "Are you happy, Sweetheart?"

The girl rocked backward and plopped her butt onto her feet tucked beneath her. Charlie shrugged, "Can you handle another baby? I'm a lot of work."

"You're a beautiful blessing."

"When I'm not being bad," she replied.

Bo joked, "My baby is never bad."

As her wife chuckled, Charlie informed her mothers, "I'll be the boss though. I'm older so I'm the boss."

Lauren smiled and nodded, "I can't imagine it being any other way."

"Alrighty. I'll take a brother," the girl concluded merrily. As Bo yawned, her daughter poked at her growing sibling, "I think you're making Mommy sleepy, Ethan. Stop that."

The brunette ruffled Charlie's hair as she reminded, "We don't know if it's a boy or girl, Baby."

"Nope, nope, nope," the toddler wiggled off of her mother's lap and corrected, "Ethan's in there and he is a _he_."

"God forbid my child be wrong," Lauren laughed.

"She just doesn't want to have to compete with another girl," her wife teased.

"He's a boy. I'm right! You'll see."

Four months later, Lauren hoisted Charlotte up onto her hip as Bo lay on a bed in a doctor's office. After smearing cold jelly on Bo's swollen stomach, the doctor pressed the handheld instrument to her skin and asked, "Do you want to know the gender?" Every member of the small family answered in unison with an overwhelming yes. "Well then, it looks like you're going to be adding a little boy to your family."

Charlie's threw her arms over her head in celebration, "What, what! Told you, Mommy! Ethan's in there!"

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**I've actually steered clear of a brother for Charlie because I'm so spoiled to her little spoiled self. However, I thought pairing Bo's response to Charlotte's response was interesting and adorable. Fortunately for you guys, a very kind soul offered me a few ideas for the upcoming Morrigan chapter. Thank you! Also, I've had several other suggestions for one shots and I have a list, so don't think you've been forgotten. I'll get to all of them! **


	11. Frogs and Fights

**Hello to all my beautiful readers. Although I hadn't planned on it, I've decided to continue on with Ethan. You guys changed my mind :) Thank you ever so much for reading and commenting. It's more encouraging than you know. This is actually in response to a prompt from Samentine. It was a great idea and I've enjoyed writing it.**

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"Why does everything hurt?" Bo whined to herself as she trudged past a gift shop with two bottles of water in tow. Now five months pregnant, the succubus realized just how much she took for granted a few months ago. At this exact moment, mobility was on the top of that list. Perhaps she shouldn't have offered to make the trek to the concessions.

Fortunately, the Toronto zoo wasn't flooded with people so despite her occasional back and leg pain, she savored the quality time with her wife and daughter. Despite a looming project deadline, Lauren planned this family outing because Charlotte was dying to see the pandas. Of course, Splash Island took precedence. What child didn't want to run around on a rubber pad with jets of water shooting from the ground and animal replicas? Whales, fish, ducks and walruses "swam" on a blue mat which resembled oceans and ponds. When Bo left to buy water, Charlie was sitting on the stomach of a reclining polar bear and bopping it on the nose.

As the brunette walked underneath the large white sign reading "Splash Island", her wife jogged over in drenched jean shorts and light pink tank top. "Babe, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have let you walk all that way." The blonde eagerly relieved Bo of the cold, sweaty bottles.

With a soft kiss on the cheek, Bo joked, "I'm not an invalid, although I feel like _that_." She motioned to a large killer whale figure several yards away.

Tucking the water underneath her right arm, the blonde intertwined her five free fingers with Bo's as she teased, "Just wait until a couple of months from now. We might require Tamsin's truck to get you around."

"Hey!" The other woman crinkled her nose and pursed her lips with feigned grumpiness, "Be nice to your pregnant wife. That was just mean."

"My strong, slim, beautiful succubus reduced to this," Lauren smirked as they strolled along the edge of the blue splash pad.

"Are you calling me fat?" Bo whipped her wife around to face her and jerked her close. "That's just plain hurtful."

"Aww," Lauren pecked the pouting lips in front of her, "I think you're still upset about your temporary outgrowing of your leather. With Ethan putting on weight and your legs and ankles swelling because if it, your former wardrobe is a thing of the past for the next few months."

"You _are_ calling me fat!" Bo poked the blonde playfully in the sides.

Smiling and swatting at the brunette's hands with her left hand, Lauren retorted, "You know I love your body."

Bo's eyebrow shot up as she queried, "Do you?"

With her free hand, Lauren traced the top of Bo's jeans as she leaned in and purred in the succubus' ear. Bo unconsciously bit her bottom lip as her eyes swam with desire and cheeks flushed. Pleased with her statement, the blonde grazed her lips against the woman's ear as she stepped back. With Bo still absorbing the words, Lauren slinked back a foot and swiveled to walk away. Coming to her senses, Bo managed a few large strides even in her current condition. She captured her wife from behind and whispered into her blonde locks, "Well aren't you a pervy doctor."

Lauren turned her head to the left as Bo's lips brushed against her cheek and replied, "Have I embarrassed a succubus?"

"No ma'am. You just better make good on all that talk."

Wiggling out of Bo's grasp, Lauren promised with a wink, "Oh, I plan to."

"Mommy! Come play with me on the frogs!" Charlie squealed as she rushed over to her parents.

"I would love to!" Bo's face lit up at the sight of the little girl in a white and purple striped one piece swimsuit. Some of her wet hair clung to the sides of her face while the rest hugged her shoulders.

The rambunctious toddler grabbed her mother's hand and yanked her forward. "Froggies, Mommy! Mama! You come too, please."

Lauren squeezed Bo's upper arm and said, "I'm going to put these bottles in the wagon. I'll catch up with you two in a minute."

Charlie and her mother dodged a few screaming children and parental wranglers on their way to the frogs. A group of three light green frogs with dark green spots maybe a foot tall and almost two feet wide sat in a circle on a greenish area of the splash pad. Water sprayed out of their mouths and nearby lily pads. With no kids in the vicinity, the blonde peeled through a vertical stream of water and plopped down on the back of the animal and swatted at the water.

"You're almost too big to sit on that, Honey," Bo chuckled as the girl struggled not to slide off the animal's back.

"Come here, Mommy! I wanna splash you!"

"I do love your honesty." As Bo spoke, a dark headed boy around Charlotte's age sauntered toward them. Immediately, he honed in on the squealing girl and elbowed her off of the frog.

"Hey!" Charlie yelped as she slipped off and rolled to the ground. "That wasn't nice!" Flattening her little palms on the mat, she shoved her body upward and defiantly planted herself a foot from her attacker.

"That did _not_ just happen," Bo muttered. Although her instincts compelled her to knock the aggressor flat on his ass, her better judgment recognized that age of the kid and the repercussions of pummeling a child in public. Through a forced smile, the brunette pointed to an identical amphibian and urged, "Sweetheart, just go play over there."

The slight frown of disappointment on her daughter's face nearly killed the protective mother. However, Charlie complied reluctantly and swung her leg over the back of the animal and reached for the stream of water spewing out of the mouth. Just as the water tickled her fingers, the boy charged over and pushed her once again. "Oww!" The blonde wore a look of genuine confusion as she rubbed her leg and butt trying to ease the pain of her fall.

That was it. "Okay," Bo barked, "Not cool. Can you not push my kid?" Spurred on by the brunette's hostile tone, Charlie jumped to her feet and stared down the boy with her arms folded across her chest.

Standing his ground, the boy insisted, "This is my frog!"

Completely stunned, Charlie threw back, "Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Is not!"

As both children prepared for a verbal looping argument, a tall, slim raven haired man strutted over and addressed the group. "What's going on here?" Ruffling the boy's hair, he asked, "Son, what's up?"

The child answered boldly, "She took my frog."

Caught off guard by his blatant lie, Bo scoffed as she brushed a supportive hand over her daughter's shoulder, "That's definitely not true. He actually shoved—"

"Why would my son lie to me?" The father rudely interrupted Bo.

Tipping over the edge of simple irritation, Bo responded, "Umm because he's probably what? Four years old? How many super honest four year olds do you know?"

"Zero," Charlie answered confidently still rooted a yard or so away from the father/son duo.

With an air of condescension, the man tilted his head, waved his hand and quietly suggested, "Look, why don't you just stay calm and take your girl somewhere else where she won't bother my son. Stress isn't good in your condition."

She hurled herself off the cliff of mild aggravation and plunged into the chasm of borderline fury. "My condition?" She choked down a scream, "Pregnancy doesn't make me blind."

"Hey babe," the doctor approached her wife and was greeted by the suffocating tension and four very irked individuals. She squeezed her wife's forearm and queried, "What's going on?"

"He pushed me off a frog," Charlotte wasted no time in answering as she flung an accusatory finger in the boy's direction.

Patting his son on the shoulder the slim man corrected, "He says that he didn't."

"And apparently, I'm incapable of dealing with that squirt because of _this_," the succubus spat out in disdain while rubbing her belly.

Ignoring the enraged mother, the father dropped his eyes to Charlie and advised, "Why don't you just say sorry? Haven't your parents taught you that?"

"The hel—" Bo snapped.

"I didn't do anything!" Charlie jumped to her own defense.

"Don't talk to my daughter like that," Bo snarled as she gently pulled the girl to her stomach.

Wishing to avoid any further aggression, Lauren swallowed her own parental instincts and recommended, "Bo. Charlotte. Let's go play somewhere else."

"Yeah!" the boy stepped forward and accused, "You took my frog!" He smacked a flat palm against her shoulder causing the girl to slam into her mother's legs.

"Hey!" Charlie reeled back to punch the boy, but Lauren caught her arm mid swing while also holding back her wife from making a similar attack.

Hating the words as she spoke, Lauren reluctantly scolded, "Babe. We can't hit." She wanted to thrash the little bastard who dared to touch her baby and set her wife loose on the father, but she couldn't encourage violence. Charlotte had been far too impressionable as of late.

Charlie resisted, "He pushed me, Mama."

"Did you see that?!" Bo asked the clearly useless father.

As he pulled his son backward by the collar of his shirt, he shrugged and replied, "Boys will be boys."

_Fuck this_. "Okay. Listen guy," Bo launched into a tirade, "pregnant or not, I'm not someone you want to mess with. If your mongrel touches my daughter one more time, I'll—"

"Bo." Lauren interrupted and whispered in the brunette's ear, "He's not worth it." Her tone dripped with poorly suppressed irritation with the father and son. She leaned down and kissed Charlie's wet hair and said, "Let's go play on those blue slides over there."

Before the family could make their graceful exit, the man made one last comment to the blonde mother, "You should probably reign in your woman. Crazy hormonal bitch."

The doctor froze, clenched her jaw and jerked her head in the man's direction. She could almost feel her eyes popping out of her head and face flushing with anger as she seethed through clenched teeth, "Excuse me?"

Not at all bothered, he replied, "You know how pregnant women are."

She took one decisive step forward and sternly responded, "As opposed to men trying to overcompensate for their small reproductive organs by making degrading comments about women? It is a shame that you're so insecure in your own manhood that you resort to lording over children." Bo and Charlie smirked with every word pouring out of the blonde's mouth. "It's also very bad taste to use crude language in front of children. You know how kids are. They can pick up terrible habits that might prove detrimental in the future." Puffing out her chest, she concluded with a snide smile, "Enjoy your day."

Lauren grabbed her wife's and daughter's hands and stomped toward the play structure on the other side of the splash pad. Charlie and Bo beamed with pride at the doctor's brash, yet intelligent rant. The little girl grinded her mothers to a halt and yelled in a tone similar to her aunt's, "That was awesome!" Her tiny arms wrapped around the blonde's waist as she cooed, "I love you, Mama."

Unable to resist bluntly praising Lauren, Bo commented, "That was so badass."

As a grin stretched across the other woman's face, she didn't bother to correct her wife. She figured that one word would blur into a mush of racing thoughts amidst Charlotte's excitement. She nodded and responded, "Thank you." She pecked Bo on the cheek and hoisted her daughter onto her hip.

She melted seeing her child completely consumed with happiness and pride. The girl cupped her mother's face between her hands and pecked her on the lips. "Awesome!" she reiterated loudly. She began bouncing in the woman's arms as she remarked, "Mommy should have punched his face!"

Unable to conceal a smirk, Lauren chuckled, "I don't think that would be wise."

"I could totally deck him. Ethan wouldn't mind a possible bumpy ride."

"Yay! Punching!" Charlie continued to rejoice and squirm.

Amused, Lauren asked, "Since when has punching become a valid response?"

"Umm," her daughter halted her celebration and raised an eyebrow. "Isn't that what Mommy does all the time?"

"She has a point," Bo laughed as she playfully poked the girl in the side. The girl giggled and grappled with her mother's hand.

Far too tickled to disagree, the doctor suggested, "Let's just refrain from violence today." She set her daughter on the ground and directed her toward the slides. "Let's go over there."

Charlotte slid in between her mothers and grabbed both of their hands. Pumping their hands up and down while stomping in puddles of water, she asked, "Who's going to slide with me?"

Bo regretfully answered, "Well it can't be me, Sweetheart."

"Are you too fat to go down the slide?"

Shaking her head, Bo said, "Not you too. Now it's obvious that you are your mother's daughter." She heard her wife snort and turned to see that gorgeous Lauren smile plastered on her face. Only these two blondes could get away with calling her fat.

"It's all Ethan's fault," Charlie clarified.

"He's not even born and you're already putting the blame on him?" Lauren observed as she dropped the girl's hand and brushed her fingers through the girl's matted, wet hair.

"Well, it is," the girl shrugged. She released Bo's hand and craned her neck upward.

"Thanks so much," Bo teased the girl.

Charlie playfully rolled her eyes and assured her, "You know you're still pretty, Mommy."

"Well thank you, Pumpkin."

A tiny grin pulled at the corner of her mouth as she said, "But you're still fat."

While both women laughed, Lauren asked, "Alright, Smarty-Pants. Are we going to go down the slide?"

"Yes, yes! Please, Mama!" Charlie snatched her mother's hand. Bo lightly smacked Lauren on the ass before the pair slipped out of arm's reach. Over her shoulder, the toddler said, "Mommy, don't do that in public."

The mother and daughter climbed up a few steps on the platform with the slides. Before stepping in the short line to the blue tubes, Charlie pulled at Lauren's hand and murmured, "Hey, Mama."

Lauren knew that tone. She had something on her mind. The blonde squatted to Charlotte's level and tucked the girl's hair behind her ears and answered, "Hey Baby."

"I have a question." The girl glanced around to make sure no one overheard their conversation. Joking about Bo being fat called something to mind that had been drifting between her ears for weeks. When her mother planted a comforting kiss on her forehead, Charlie took a deep breath and asked, "What's going to happen when Ethan's here?"

Not quite sure how serious the conversation should be, Lauren replied, "Well, there will be another person in the wagon with you. You can even hold him in your lap."

A small smile flashed across Charlie's lips before her forehead creased with concern. She blurted the question screaming inside, "Is Mommy going to love him more than me? He's in her belly and I was in your belly."

Finally faced with the question she'd been anticipating, the doctor reassured her daughter, "Sweetheart. Neither your mommy nor I will love Ethan more than you. We'll love you two the same."

Not quite sure her mother made sense, Charlotte skeptically pressed, "Are you sure?"

"We can't possibly love anyone more than we love you." Lauren knew that for sure. This small child had filled and overflowed a hole neither she nor Bo knew existed.

"Well, how will you love Ethan too? That's so much love." Her arms extended outward as if measuring a yard stick.

"We'll find some more love. Don't you worry." Lauren flicked the girl's chin.

Just double checking, the toddler asked again, "Are you sure?"

"Absolutely. You're our little girl." She adjusted the straps of the swimsuit on Charlotte's shoulders and added, "You'll also be an amazing big sister."

Put at ease by her mother's promises, the girl declared, "I'll be the boss." She thrust both thumbs toward her chest.

"Oh boy," Lauren rolled her eyes.

Grinning, Charlie scrunched up her nose and brushed it against Lauren's and replied, "You know I'm right."

"Goodness, you do take after your mommy."

Charlie chuckled and replied, "But I'm smart like you."

With a decisive nod, Lauren replied, "Indubitably."

Knowing exactly what the word meant, the toddler rephrased it, "Without a doubt." She added, "I'm very 'telligent."

A familiar yell rang out, "Bo-diddy-Bo! Ch-ch-Charlie! Hot-hot-pants!" Kenzi dodged children as she made a beeline for the blue play structure.

Lauren muttered, "What is she doing here?"

"I invited her," Charlie answered happily. She screamed at her aunt, "Auntie Ken Ken! You wanna ride in the wagon with me?"

Screeching to a halt next to Bo, the woman responded, "Heck yes I do!"

"Yay!" Charlie bounced up and down. "Mama," she instructed, "Let's go down the slide and then..." she paused for effect, "Pandas!"

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**Part two of the zoo adventure is currently under construction. Kenzi and Charlie reunited!**

**In case you're wondering, the Morrigan chapter is kicking my ass, but is in progress. I hope ya'll are pleased with these other random one shots.**


	12. The Con and the Blonde

**Hello beautiful readers! Yes, I know it has been awhile. After a bit of coaxing from a couple of you, I just sat down and finished this like a trooper. I forgot how much I like Kenzi and Charlie together. It's a little off the wall, but that's Kenzi for you. Hope you guys like it!**

* * *

"How did I end up pulling the wagon?" Kenzi complained as she yanked the blue plastic wagon forward with both hands behind her back. "I thought I was getting a ride, not playing horse in horse drawn carriage."

"You're just the nicest aunt ever," Bo replied.

"And you can't fit," Charlie added as she tapped a rhythm on the sides of her chariot. As they marched down the sidewalk, Lauren towel dried the girl's hair despite her squirming.

Glancing over her shoulder, Kenzi pouted, "I didn't wanna ride with you anyway."

Before her daughter could make some sort of snide remark, Bo asked her friend, "Kenz, how did you buy a ticket to get into the zoo? I thought you already spent the money from our last job."

Stopping to adjust the bandanna on her head, Kenzi cleared her throat and began, "Funny story. I was walking along like a normal person and this wallet was on the ground." She pulled out a wallet seemingly from nowhere and concluded, "Turns out it had money in it and I bought a ticket with the cash. The end." She shoved the folded leather into her inner jacket pocket and resumed her laborious trek toward the panda exhibit hauling Charlie behind her.

Not buying Kenzi's tale, Bo pressed, "That's the story? You really found a wallet on the ground?"

Reluctantly correcting herself, the woman said, "I _did_ pick it up off the ground. I didn't say _how_ it got on the ground." She added with a smirk, "Answer to the _how_: gravity won."

"You dropped it!" Charlie playfully accused.

"Kenzi," Bo snapped as she grabbed her friend by the sleeve.

Finally willing to tell the whole truth, Kenzi turned to the group and replied, "There is a teeny weeny possibility that I left out the beginning of the story. It's a totes snooze fest." After taking a deep breath, her eyes wandered around the empty space between the three individuals as she admitted, "I found it in a guy's back pocket first. Then after gravity won, I found it again on the ground."

Lauren rolled her eyes and glanced down at her daughter and said, "Charlotte, you know that—"

"Stealing is wrong," the girl concluded. She smiled up at the blonde and said, "I know, Mama. I don't steal because I get what I want."

"Spoiled much?" Bo chuckled.

Raising one eyebrow, the toddler noted, "Your fault, Mommy."

Bo tugged the towel off the girl's head and ruffled the hair beneath it as she threatened, "One day, I'm going to start to tell you 'no' constantly."

With squinted eyes and pursed lips exactly like her aunt's, the girl replied, "Sure." With a wink, she added, "When Tam Tam stops drinking."

Smiling at the exchange, Lauren looked up and noted sadly, "Uh oh. It looks like there's a line to get into the exhibit."

"Crap balls," Kenzi muttered. "This sh—situation needs to be expedited." She had absolutely no intention of standing in this snake of a line for god knows how long. Fortunately, she had the perfect solution and an impeccable set up for one of her scams. She turned around and asked Charlie, "You up for 'Can't Hear Nothing'?"

With a wide grin, the girl lifted her hands and signed in response. Confused, Lauren asked, "Was that sign language? Real sign language?"

Not bothering to answer, Kenzi instructed, "Follow my lead, Doc. I want to make daughter happy." She began bobbing under the railings with the wagon behind her and nudging people out of the way as she apologized in a heavy Russian accent, "Excuse me, beautiful people." Charlie was sure to duck and offer small smiles to the people in line.

Lauren and Bo opted to weave through the line and also apologized. The blonde asked her wife, "Is this what I think it is?"

"Yeah. I'm afraid so." Bo shook her head and snickered, "Kenzi's about to do what she does best."

When Kenzi and Charlie reached the front of the line, a female zoo worker held out a hand to stop them, "I'm sorry ma'am, but you're going to have to move to the back of the line."

With the most pathetic face she could muster, Kenzi replied, "Please ma'am. Me and daughter are from Russia. We run away from bad man who hurt us." She motioned over her shoulder to Bo and Lauren who finally had caught up to them. "Very nice ladies take care of us. My daughter is deaf and want to see pandas." Bending over, caressing Charlie's cheek and pecking her on the forehead, she continued, "She has so small happiness since we ran from home." While moving her lips, the Russian signed something to the little girl to which Charlie also responded with hand motions. Looking to the woman blocking their path, Kenzi smiled nicely and said, "She so sweet. She say your hair pretty."

Completely sucked into Kenzi's scam, the brunette replied gently, "She is absolutely adorable. Can she read lips?"

Kenzi nodded, "She is learning, but slow. So much bad things happen to her." She fought back a small tear.

"Aww," the woman brushed a hand on Kenzi's arm and addressed her daughter, "Would you like to see the pandas?" As if not understanding, Charlie tilted her head and tapped one of her "deaf" ears. The brunette leaned closer to the girl's face and drew out the word, "Paaannnddaaaasss?"

The toddler's eyes immediately widened as she nodded and clapped. Kenzi softly ran a hand through the girl's hair and responded, "You make her happy. Canada is good to us."

"Well," the woman stepped aside, "I'll just get you through this line then." As Kenzi wheeled Charlie into the exhibit, the toddler tugged on the kind, gullible woman's arm and signed with excitement. The woman looked to Kenzi for translation.

"She said god bless you kind woman."

The kindhearted brunette murmured, "Such a strong little girl." She glanced at Bo and Lauren and remarked, "You are such generous souls to take these two into your home. I can't imagine what their life was like back in Russia."

Catching a small smirk on Kenzi's lips, Bo replied flatly, "Difficult I'm sure."

The Russian girl agreed, "Much hard life at home. Bad men. Little food." She clutched her chest as if reliving the 'pain'.

The brunette patted Kenzi's shoulder and replied, "All that is behind you now. She can see the pandas and I hope that brings her some happiness."

Charlie smiled broadly, waved her hands and concluded the sentence with a familiar motion of a flat hand moving from mouth and outward. Kenzi interpreted, "She says you have much good inside and thank you."

"You're welcome dear. Have fun," the woman waved goodbye to the grateful mother and daughter and the two selfless women housing them.

Once they were out of sight, Bo punched Kenzi on the arm and said, "Just when I thought you couldn't stoop any lower. Was that even real sign language?"

Bringing a hand to her chest and gasping, the woman replied, "I'm insulted! When I pull a con, it's for reals."

"Aside from it being a con," Lauren pointed out with an eyeroll.

Kenzi continued with a defensive tone, "I've put some signage skills to use in the past. Never fails," she ended triumphantly. Charlie tugged on Kenzi's skirt and signed quickly. The woman shook her head and replied in the negative, "No. I don't need to go to the loo."

"The loo?" Bo scoffed.

"Learned from a British guy."

"The sign for 'loo' is different from 'bathroom'?" Bo asked with a smirk.

Kenzi shot her a dirty look and despite her friend being correct, she snipped, "Don't be jealous of my kick a skills, Succubus."

The tiny blonde whispered to her aunt, "Can I talk yet?"

With two firm pats on the head, Kenzi responded, "Give it a few minutes, kid." She lowered an open palm, "High five. You killed it."

As Charlotte grinned from ear to ear, her blonde mother asked, "Out of curiosity, what was she signing?"

Now smacking the girl's hands repeatedly with her own in a patting motion, the woman replied, "Mostly random questions: 'How are you?' 'Can I get directions?' 'Where's some biscuits?'" Smiling mischievously, Charlie signed something that made Kenzi giggle, "That's her favorite."

"What does it mean?" Bo inquired.

Careful to avoid eye contact with both mothers, Kenzi stammered, "Uh. Well. Let's just say she doesn't know and it's better if no one knows."

Bo rolled her eyes and propped her hands on her hips, "Kenz, did you teach her sign language swearing?"

"Oh, it's beyond swearing," Kenzi puffed up with pride, "It's the best Kenzi conjured insult of all freakin' time."

Lauren groaned but opted to roam around the exhibit rather than reprimand her daughter's aunt. After a half hour of meandering through the indoor panda exhibit and soaking in tidbits about pandas, the foursome greeted the sunlight and perfect weather as they stepped outside. Immediately, Charlie bounced in the wagon and yelled up at Lauren, "Pandas, Mama. Pandas!"

Jokingly, her mother feigned ignorance, wrinkled her eyebrows and asked playfully, "Are you sure you want to see the pandas? I'm not convinced that you are."

"Yeah, we can go read about the food pandas eat again," Bo teased.

"No, no. I know what they eat already," Charlotte insisted.

"Alright then," Lauren knelt in front of her daughter who was sitting cross-legged in the wagon. "What do they eat?"

"People," the girl stated with grin.

As Lauren cocked an eyebrow, Bo prompted, "Try again, Sweetie."

"Sticks."

Kenzi shrugged and noted, "That's close enough."

"Bamboo, Charlotte," Lauren corrected. Smiling but confused, the blonde said, "I thought you were paying attention. I read about it several times."

"Doc, she's four. She does her itty bitty best," Kenzi replied as she ruffled the toddler's damp hair.

With an apologetic tone, the little girl said, "Sorry, Mama. I tried." Raising her arms in her aunt's direction, she asked politely, "Can I get out now, please?"

The woman chuckled as she lifted the girl, "You get your awesome fake paying attention face from me, but you surely don't get those manners from me."

"Fake paying attention face?" Bo inquired as she sipped from a half empty water bottle.

"Yeah," Kenzi thumbed toward the indoor exhibit, "the one she had in there- that cute look while Lauren was blah blah-ing about stuff."

Lauren wondered and asked Kenzi, "When do _you_ use that face?"

"_Wellll_," Bo's friend stretched out the word before continuing, "Yesterday you were going on and on about neurons passing places. I got really lost and just thought about shoes and beer."

"But you were smiling as if you were interested."

"Yeah, I was thinking about sheik footwear. That always brings a smile to mah face."

"Passive neuronal displacement is highly fascinating when compared to active neuronal migration," the doctor defended.

Charlie pulled at the bottom of Lauren's denim shorts and assured her, "I think it's cool." Pointing to her pregnant mother, she added, "And Mommy thinks it's sexy."

"G-ross!" Kenzi exclaimed. She reprimanded her friend, "Don't say crap like that in front of her. Remember the first three letters?" She held up a fist and raised a finger for each letter she mouthed.

"Alright! Pandas!" Bo blurted hoping to draw her daughter's attention away from her aunt.

"They have black and white and black around their eyes," Charlie nodded as she grabbed Bo's hand.

"Like raccoons," Lauren added.

Scrunching up her face in disgust, the girl said, "Bleh raccoons. Auntie Kenzi says they're big fuzzy rats with eye patches and 'seases." Kenzi shuddered in agreement.

With a nod, the doctor replied, "They are relatively unsanitary."

Charlie pressed her lips together as she paused to think. Lauren adored that cute face of childish contemplation. "Does that mean gross?" the blonde girl finally asked.

"Yup. There's a new word for you," Bo stated. Both mothers loved expanding their daughter's vocabulary. Although she couldn't yet use them in sentences, she recognized them when others used them.

"Pirates have eye patches," Kenzi casually noted.

"Arrrr," Charlie growled in response.

"Put a little more old man smoker voice into it. Arrrr," Kenzi concluded in a raspy voice.

The toddler shook her head, yanked her hand from her mother's grasp and clarified with a finger pointed over Kenzi's right shoulder, "No. Arrrrr."

Following Charlie's finger, Bo mumbled and rolled her eyes, "You've got to be kidding me." The man and his son from earlier stood further down the sidewalk.

Although she felt her blood pressure rising, Lauren calmly said, "They are way over there and they appear to be walking away. We're fine."

As Charlie threw out yet another growl, Kenzi asked, "Anyone going to fill me in on the hatred of someone in that general direction?"

"He pushed me," Charlie narrowed her eyes. "And his daddy was mean to Mommy."

"Who did what now?" the woman asked with slight irritation.

"That little brat pushed her and his dad didn't do sh—stuff to stop him," Bo explained in a huff.

"So you punched his face right?" Kenzi asked expectantly. "Or kicked him in the dangles? Or took a two by four to his knee caps? No one pushes my Charlie!"

"No," Lauren responded. "I whittled him down to size."

"With words?" the other woman sighed in displeasure. "Big words the numb skull probably didn't even get?"

"It was funny," Charlie recalled. "He had this face." The girl dropped her jaw and turned her features to stone as if all understanding was stripped from her face.

"Well," Kenzi's brass knuckles appeared, "I'm going to do something super hilarious. It's time for a little nose blood courtesy of The Kenz."

"Kenzi, don't!" Bo warned as she snagged her friend by the arm. When she offered only a half-assed struggle, the brunette motioned to the metal knuckles, "Where the heck did those come from?"

Kenzi smirked, "Same place Tam Tam keeps her weird saw things."

"Up your butt?" Charlie suggested innocently.

"Pardon?" Lauren blurted with amusement.

Her daughter explained, "I asked Tammy where she keeps them. She said, 'Up your butt and around the corner'."

Bo and Kenzi snorted as Lauren let out a small chuckle. Kenzi pondered, "How old is our almost beloved, but definitely hated valkyrie? I heard that in elementary school."

Not understanding the humor, Charlie's gaze bounced back and forth between the three adults. Lauren said, "She was joking, Baby. She doesn't keep anything up her—"

"Butt," Charlie concluded.

Kenzi snarled, "That dude's about to have something up his."

"Kenzi!" Bo snapped.

As she begrudgingly shoved the weapon back into her jacket, the woman sighed, "Alright, alright. I do have to pee though."

"Nice try."

"What? Can't a girl pee?"

"It's super convenient that the dude is in the direction of the bathroom," Bo said.

Kenzi winked at Charlie as she shrugged, "Oh really? Ain't that the darndest thing."

"No," Lauren snipped.

"Gah," Kenzi threw up her hands in defeat. "Fine. You win. I'm sure the doc's verbal lashing was sufficient in a playground 'did too, did not' sort of way ."

"Yeah, it was," Charlie agreed as she trotted over to her aunt.

As the mothers exchanged a few words, Kenzi whispered in the little blonde's ear, "Distract them."

With a face set with determination, Charlotte nodded and asked over her shoulder, "Mommy, can we see the bears now?"

Thrilled that the threat of aggression had past, Bo clutched the wagon handle and answered, "Of course."

The four strolled toward the tall metal fence surrounding the habitat. Charlie caught sight of one of the giant animals. Hoping to keep her mothers occupied, she mentioned in a voice coated with worry, "Oh. They're big."

At that moment, the panda opened its mouth and yawned. "Ah!" Charlie screeched as she jumped behind Lauren's legs. As Kenzi slinked away with a smirk and a nod, Charlie whimpered, "He's gonna eat me."

Gently rubbing the girl's shoulder, the blonde said, "Sweetheart, he is not going to eat you. He is yawning, well technically, he is inhaling.

"No, no, no," she buried her face into her mother's hip. "Big teeth."

"Charlotte," Lauren attempted to wiggle out of the girl's clutches.

"No, no, no!"

"Hey, hey," Bo cooed as she ran her fingers through almost dry hair, "I'm not going to let it hurt you."

Peering upward at the brunette's face, the girl asked, "Where's your little sword?"

"It's at home. I can't bring it to the zoo."

"Oh, no! The bear's gonna get us!" Charlie gasped.

Trying to turn around, Lauren reminded the girl, "Your mommy doesn't need a dagger to protect us."

"Will you punch it?"

With a small smile, Bo replied, "In the face."

"The panda doesn't want to hurt you. He's sitting over there."

"Would you like to see it?" Bo offered.

"No," Charlie replied pointedly.

"You can smart off to the Morrigan but you can't look at a bear? C'mon." Bo scoffed playfully.

As she dropped the terrified kid act, the toddler released her mother, "Okay."

The newly freed woman pulled the girl into her arms and pointed, "See. He's way over there just looking around."

"Where did his teeth go?"

"His teeth are in his mouth," Lauren pecked her daughter on the cheek.

Now completely comfortable, the toddler grinned, "He's pretty cute."

"Nothing to be afraid of," Bo patted the girl's leg.

The family happily admired the bear for a few minutes until out of the corner of her eye, Charlie spotted her aunt returning with a sly look on her face. The girl smirked in response as Kenzi trotted toward the family with a nod. She had a plan. "Mama," the toddler inquired, "May I please have some ice cream? It would make me feel better after the scary panda."

As if on cue, Kenzi appeared at their side and added, "I'll take her. We'll be right back." She cocked her head to the side in concern and observed, "Bobo looks like she could use a little sit."

Appreciating her friend's thoughtfulness, Bo replied, "That would be awesome, Kenz." She turned to her wife for approval, "What do ya say, Hon?"

With a smile, Lauren set her daughter on the ground and nodded, "That is very sweet of you Kenzi. Charlotte, stay with your aunt and only one ice cream cone. Not two or three."

"Yes ma'am," the girl complied respectfully.

"Do you need some money, Kenzi?" Lauren asked.

"Nope," Kenzi waved a brown wallet, "This ice cream adventure brought to you by liberated wallet."

As Bo and Lauren exchanged an eye roll, the woman dropped the wallet into the open bag in the wagon. She glanced down at Charlie as the girl smiled up at her. She folded her hand around the toddler's and said, "Off we go on a very innocent journey to get some ice cream."

Waiting until they were out of earshot, Charlie pulled on Kenzi's hand and asked, "So, what's the plan, Auntie?"

"Thanks to you, I was able to figure out the best way to take down those two meanie heads." As the ice cream cart snuck into view, Kenzi plopped the girl on a nearby bench, whipped off the bandanna from around her dark hair and tied it around the girl's head. She explained softly, "You gotta be as sneaky as me." The woman shrugged out of her black jacket and pulled her companion's arms through the sleeves. "There we go, now that dic—douch—darn man and his pathetic excuse for a kid won't recognize you."

A wide grin popped on the toddler's face as she awaited Kenzi's meticulous instructions. They'd never messed up before and they sure as hell weren't going to now. "Are we going to do the 'Switcharoo' or the 'Get Outta Here'?"

Her aunt smirked and replied, "We're doing a beautiful mixture of both my little sidekick. Alright, you stay here and I'll drop it..." Kenzi lowered her voice as she explained the details of their plot.

Straightening up, Kenzi held out her hand for a firm hand shake. As Charlie pumped her hand up and down, the girl said firmly, "Удачи."

"We don't need it," Kenzi laughed. She turned on her heel and ambled toward the man and his son at the ice cream stand. She casually stood a few feet away from them and busied herself with her phone. As soon as she heard the ice cream associate thank the man, she threw herself into the man's back and yanked a wallet from his back pocket.

"Hey!" He set the ice cream on the cart and chased after the woman. "Bring back my wallet!" His son was hot on his heels.

The woman didn't walk but didn't quite run as she grazed past Charlie sitting on the bench. The wallet slid from her fingers and into the girl's lap. Instantly, the leather disappeared into the over-sized jacket.

Hearing the man's yells from behind her, Kenzi slowed down and allowed him to catch up. She groaned as she heard him screaming, "That bitch stole my wallet." She hoped he drew a lot of attention to himself. _This is going to be glorious_. A firm hand grabbed her shoulder and jerked her around, "Give me back my wallet!"

In a frazzled, Russian voice, the woman yelped, "I do not know what you talk about? I take no wallet."

"Great," the man spat, "a foreign bitch come to Canada and stealing shit."

Kenzi glanced past her accuser as Charlie walked over to the ice cream stand. With all eyes on the heated exchange, no one noticed as the girl carefully slid the abandoned chocolate ice cream cone off of the cart. Forcing back a smile, Kenzi continued, "I take no wallet, sir. I swear I take nothing. I come from hard life in Russia and hope things better here."

"You've got a sob story to go along with this?" the man boomed as the woman cowered before him. A small crowd had formed around the two as the man's son stood right by his side.

The woman raised her voice and pleaded, "I take nothing. Please believe me. I take nothing!"

Although her vision was blocked by the cluster of people around Kenzi and the irate father, Charlotte smiled hearing the woman's random Russian words interspersed with her loud insistence of her innocence. Careful not to smear the dessert on her nose and chin, the blonde took small calculated licks of ice cream as her little legs dangled and swung under the bench.

A few moments later, the girl heard her aunt scream, "Police! Police help me!" That was her cue. Charlie slid off the bench and sprinted to the crowd with the half-eaten ice cream in tow.

The man agreed, "Yeah. That's exactly what we need. Someone call security." A few people shuffled out of the group and sought out zoo security personnel.

When Charlie elbowed her way to the front of the circle and Kenzi caught sight of her, the woman raised her voice, "You are bad man!" She wagged a finger in the man's face. Shocked by the woman's sudden aggressive tone, he took a step back. "I've had enough with bad men. I say I take nothing! I will cut balls off if you hurt me!" As she continued ranting, she slowly backed him right into Charlie.

Kenzi leaped forward and smacked him across the face just as the little girl slid the wallet back into his pocket. If the Russian woman hadn't immediately retreated, the man would have clocked her in the jaw. Instead, he screamed, "Don't hit me, bitch!"

"What's going on here?" a male guard held back the furious father and glanced at the frantic woman.

"That bitch took my wallet!"

"I did nothing! I did nothing!" Kenzi folded her hands together and smashed them to her chest as if terrified.

Unclear as to how to proceed, the guard asked the most obvious question, "Sir, where did you last see your wallet?"

Charlie peeked out from behind the guard and the father and gave her aunt a thumbs up. Although bursting with pride and amusement, Kenzi retained her hysterical demeanor.

The father groaned, "I had it in my back pocket. She—" As his hand patted the back of his jeans, he stammered when he felt the familiar lump, "Sh—sh—she took it." He pulled the wallet out and insisted, "I know she took it."

"Well, sir, you appear to have it now."

"He hurt me," Kenzi accused as she massaged her left arm.

A second guard appeared and asked, "Is that true? Did anyone see it?"

"I did!" Charlotte piped up. "I saw him hit her on the arm." Kenzi chuckled. _Who wouldn't believe that cute face?_

Before the man turned around, he gasped, "What? No! She smacked me!"

"No, I saw it too." A random man stepped forward in Kenzi's defense. Within seconds, five other people gave their verbal agreement. They each smiled in Kenzi's direction.

Convinced of the man's violent behavior, the two guards grabbed the man and ordered, "We're going to have to ask you to leave."

"What? Why?" the father struggled as they slowly dragged him away cursing and yelling. "She took it! I know she took it!"

As the crowd parted, Kenzi walked over to the beaming blonde. Charlie almost jumped for joy when the little boy glanced over his shoulder and recognized her.

"Thanks for the ice cream!" Charlie yelled as the boy gritted his teeth in anger. The girl resumed licking the chocolate delight out of the cone as the remainder of the spectators dispersed.

Kenzi knelt down and grinned, "We're so kick ass, man."

"Get outta here!" Charlie joked as she flicked her hand toward the man and his son.

"Kenzi! Charlie!" Bo yelled from behind them. As she and Lauren jogged over to them, she asked, "What was that? We heard screaming."

As she stood up, Kenzi shrugged, "No clue. Some idiot got dragged off by the zoo po-po. Epic."

"And I got ice cream!" Charlie declared.

"Well aren't you happy," Lauren noted with a smile.

"Girl likes her ice cream," Kenzi offered. She looked down at the girl who grinned up at her. No matter how much this kid pissed her off sometimes, she just couldn't get enough of her. Judging by the smile on the toddler's remarkably clean face, she enjoyed their adventures too.

"Hey, Kenz," Bo asked. "Why is Charlie wearing your jacket and bandanna?"

With a sweeping motion in Charlie's direction, the woman replied, "I'm sure you remember Mini Kenzi."

* * *

**Like I said- a little off the wall, but hopefully it amuses you guys. Thank you so, so much for reading. Even if it takes me awhile to update, your encouragement really means a lot. I'm glad that my random drivels entertain you guys.**

**Удачи is Russian for "good luck".**


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